Humph.

The Dandy gives me a $200 stipend each month as part of his agreement to support me – a “petty cash” fund of sorts so I can buy myself stuff without having to ask him or dip into my savings. But he’s absent-minded af and it’s not possible to set up an automatic monthly transfer between our banks, so I often need to remind him.

Yesterday I asked him (for the third or fourth time, probably) for May’s money. And pointed out that it was now June so it was officially late. And The Dandy said that he’d just spent quite a bit on a new hard drive for my computer so perhaps we’d have to just say that May’s $200 went toward that.

This doesn’t seem fair. But I don’t feel like I can say anything to him about it.

The thing is, I had assumed I’d be paying for whatever upgrades my computer needed; my computer, my responsibility. But then The Dandy just kinda took over the upgrading process and bought the stuff himself, and I was grateful for that because I recently spent a bunch of money from my savings on dental work so I’m having a lot of money anxiety. As it stands I was planning on avoiding spending any unnecessary money on myself for the foreseeable future so I could replenish my savings. I was looking forward to getting May’s $200 from The Dandy so I could begin this process.

And now The Dandy is suddenly and unilaterally deciding that I’ll contribute to the computer stuff, after all, retroactively. And it’s my computer and he never specifically said “don’t even worry about it, I got this,” he just kinda subtly started talking in terms of him ordering the stuff and not me, so I don’t feel like I have official cause to complain. But the bait-and-switch sucks.

He may change his mind. At the time that we spoke about this, he asked me what the date was today and I told him and he said “oh, okay, so I would have gotten paid yesterday. And this month I get three paycheques instead of the usual two.” I suspect he does feel a little bad about taking on the buying of the computer stuff and then abruptly pulling this little switcheroo on me, and he’s calculating whether he can indeed pay me and also pay for the motherboard. I’m just gonna stand back and let him sort his thoughts out without putting any pressure on him. He does seem to take care of me financially (maybe even emotionally and practically) as best he can – like I don’t think he’s stingy or lies about what he’s able to do or deliberately fucks me over, he just can’t always do the things I need when I need them. So we’ll see how this plays out.