After all that dirty talk between The Pedant and I about his upcoming visit, I started to feel a bit anxious – performance anxiety or whatever. Maybe he did too because when I opened the door he blew right by me and headed up the stairs without kissing or touching me at all.
Upstairs, he methodically got undressed while making banal chitchat about his day. I’m accustomed, at this point, to things between us being totally sexually charged right from the beginning – he may make small talk but if I brush past him on my way to another room I can feel him bristling with sexual tension and kind of waiting for me to touch him. Last night though there was none of that. It was so weird. I made an excuse to come near him a few times and even stroked his hair and neck briefly while he was stooped over untying his boots, and he just never stopped being casual and matter-of-fact.
Finally I went ahead and made my move anyway, and he began to moan under my touch fairly quickly. But I miss that sharp little intake of breath he usually makes when he sees I’m about to put my hands on him. Maybe next time.
I recently installed heavy-duty eye-screws in the top corners of my front doorframe and the bathroom doorframe which is directly across from it. After a while of making out with The Pedant, I buckled the wrist restraints onto him (I’d laid them nearby as per our previous conversation) and clipped his wrists up so that he was spread across my hallway. That was good for about ten minutes of fun tracing my mouth and hands all over his body. I didn’t wanna push my luck much further than that; even though the screws were anchored deep enough for The Pedant to be able to relax his arms, they were still up over shoulder height and that could cause circulatory issues if left too long, I think. I buckled the ankle restraints and collar onto him, clipped the leash to the collar, and undid his arms to lead him into the bedroom.
Once there I pushed him so he sat abruptly down on the edge of the bed, and when he automatically went to lie back I yanked him by the leash back into a sitting position. I had no specific plan; I pretty much just did it to assert myself so he’d remember who was steering the action.
I straddled his lap, handed him the ear plugs and blindfold I’d left sitting on the bed for him, and said “it’s probably easier if you administer these yourself.” He obligingly inserted the ear plugs and then I think we got distracted a bit with kissing and then out of nowhere he suddenly just bowed his head to my chest and held me tightly (the blindfold still clutched in his hand which was now behind my back). It was not just a hug. It felt like gratefulness; it felt like reverence. It felt like he was overwhelmed with emotion and just needed to be still for a moment and compose himself.
And so he embraced me for a while and I sat there with my heart hammering from the thrill of him telegraphing such…submission to me. And I cradled his head in my arms and stroked his hair and just generally tried to make it clear that I understood what he was trying to give me and I was indeed receiving it. And eventually The Pedant started petting my back and seemed to be pulling himself out of his reverie and we resumed kissing etc.
He blindfolded himself and then I did finally push him flat on his back so I could tongue his nipples and make him moan. Oh, I forgot to mention – this visit he apparently felt self-conscious about his sex noises (I guess…?) and kept sort of swallowing his sounds before he made them – which sounded really unfortunately like the rhythmic “glrmph” noise some people make when they’re about to throw up. Like when I had him strung up in my hallway I was surreptitiously checking his stomach and posture to make sure he wasn’t maybe on the verge of vomiting. So that was…weird. I hope he gets over that and gets back to moaning openly. Maybe he felt extra self-conscious about us being right by the front door, but he kept stifling himself even in the bedroom.
The Pedant is very receptive to being moved around when he bottoms to me, so it just took a couple of little nudges from me to make him rotate his body and lie on the bed properly (instead of crosswise with his legs hanging off). I tied down his wrists and then sprung another surprise on him: I’d rigged up some clips on the sides of the bed frame and I buckled the thigh cuffs he’d bought us ages ago onto him and attached them to these clips so his legs were forced open. He definitely loved that – I saw him squiggling against them a lot, relishing the feeling of being restrained. I still clipped his ankles to the bed for good measure, though.
My plan – once his legs were trapped wide apart – was to warm his asshole up with my fingers and ultimately put a toy in there before getting on top of him and fucking him to the finish. I actually managed (eventually) to get two fingers inside him (and he made some very happy moans when I did – and to think he once told me that ass play did nothing for him). But then I had a wee attack of conscience. I think The Pedant would probably have been fine with me using a toy on him like that, but it was somewhat new territory for us. I didn’t want to spring it on him while he was essentially helpless but I didn’t want to ask him how he felt about it, either – I was running this show, dammit – so instead I opted to just withdraw my fingers and proceed to the fucking without doing the toy insertion part.
And right when I thought he was getting close I yanked him up by the collar and kissed him hard – which totally triggered his orgasm, and I caught his moans in my mouth. :D
Immediately after that I threw myself down beside him and got myself off with the Hitachi twice in a row. I didn’t even let The Pedant out of the restraints. He still shifted over to put his body against mine to the extent that he was able, and sort of nuzzled me with his head after each orgasm to kind of acknowledge that he knew I’d come. Finally I released him from bondage and he immediately gathered me into his arms. My brain was doing little post-orgasmic loop-de-loops and I buried my face in his chest and shuddered through all the emotions and aftershocks. Then we went to sleep.
I slept somewhat fitfully and finally moved out to the couch for a bit so I wouldn’t have the additional sleep-hurdle of having a breathing, moving person next to me. The Pedant and I woke up at about the same time; just as I was lying there struggling to consciousness so I could get up and pee, he came out of the bedroom (heralded by the clink of metal-on-metal; he was still wearing the cuffs and collar). He said hi to me, ducked into the bathroom for a pee of his own, then came out and kind of stood over me. I think he may have made some small talk or something; certainly he didn’t outright tell me that he wanted to fuck again. But it was clear that he was hoping I would. I got up, kissed him, and told him I had to pee but I’d meet him in the bedroom.
This fuck was an odd one. The Pedant was as vocal as ever when I first put him inside me, but pretty soon his moans took on that “holding pattern” he gets when he’s not gonna come. I tried my best to get things going but nothing much was working and my thighs were killing me. Finally – not quite ready to give up on sex entirely – I said “Would you like me inside you?” and wow, the enthusiastic little storm of moaning and breathing that that idea produced. Alrighty then. :D
I ended up finger banging The Pedant’s ass for basically ever. At one point I was using one hand to do stuff to his asshole, the other to give him a hand job, and I managed just barely to hover one of my feet over his chest and stimulate his nipple with my big toe. I’m grateful he’d put his blindfold back on because I’m sure that looked dumb as hell. It clearly felt good to him, though.
He seemed to get to the edge of coming a bunch of times, but never quite went over. And then he went into that holding pattern again. I knew for sure things weren’t going well when The Pedant started being all “I love being your slave” “I’m so hard for you” etc., etc. He mostly only dirty-talks when his penis isn’t cooperating with him. I waited a respectful amount of time after the dirty talk and said “What can I do for you? Did you need a break?”
The Pedant asked me to unclip his restraints, which I did. Then he said, “I’d like you to put a toy inside me and hold it there while I fuck you. On top.” Wow…synchronicity. I guess he probably would have been okay with my original plan the night before. And I think being on top is another of The Pedant’s strategies for dealing with orgasm issues; it probably helps for him to be able to control the speed and angle of thrusting.
I selected a stainless steel butt plug from my collection; I’m not confident I could reach comfortably to hold a toy inside The Pedant during missionary sex, and I knew the plug would stay in well by itself. I warmed it up, lubed it, and slid it inside him and suddenly he was thrashing and moaning and his cock was not only erect but just blazingly engorged; his erection seemed twice the size it usually is. I crawled up his body to kiss him and pretty soon he was like “You can tie down my wrists again.” So the plug had turned him on to a point where he didn’t need to be on top anymore. Fascinating!
I’d been fucking him for only maybe two minutes when he said “You’re gonna make me come – !”
I started to say “I’m okay with that” but he’d begun throbbing and shooting before I even got out the whole sentence. If his whole “you’re gonna make me come” thing is meant as a warning in case I want to draw things out, he really needs to say it a bit sooner. Maybe it’s not a warning. I dunno.
As he came, I brushed my thumbs against his nipples and reached back to wiggle the plug in his ass. Both made him flinch in a way that told me it was too much, so I stopped and just focused on very slowly thrusting until I’d gotten every last drop out of him. The orgasm was so intense that he’d reflexively put his knees up so I couldn’t thrust so deeply. “It’s okay,” I whispered, and smoothed his legs down flat again with my hand.
I undid his restraints, removed the toy (“be gentle” “No, I’m gonna pull on it like I’m starting a lawn mower. What am I, new?”) and then flopped next to The Pedant for some more Hitachi time. “I wouldn’t say no to a couple of fingers inside me,” I said, and he cheerfully obliged. I had a bit of difficulty getting off but once it happened it was…huge. And awoke my violence. The Pedant gathered me up in his arms again and I growled and shuddered and gripped his shoulder hard.
And then I decided to ask the thing that’s been bugging me forever.
“Hey – when I tell you I love you, how does it make you feel?”
“Depends on when you say it.”
I’m not sure I’ve ever giggled in exasperation before, but I did then. “Dude. Can you vague that up for me a little bit more?” I mean, honestly. I’ve made my peace with the fact that I’ll have to be the one to initiate every damn awkward or vulnerable conversation with him, but can’t he at least throw me some crumbs and give me a straight answer? He had to have known why I was asking.
“Well, when you say it during sex it tends to get lost among everything else.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever said it during sex. Usually I’ll say it just after.”
“So, when I’m drifting off, then.”
“Well yeah, but…okay, look. I say it and you don’t react whatsoever so I don’t know if you’re opting to politely ignore me because you’re horrified that I said it, or what.”
“Rest assured that I am not horrified.”
“That’s…actually a load off my mind. Thank you.” I took a deep breath and fought down a small sobbing fit.
“Well, you just took a load off me, so…”
I groaned at the terrible sex pun.
“Hey, you started it,” he said.
“I think it was kind of mutually started.”
“Not the sex, the puns.”
I snuggled my face closer into his neck. “I say it after sex because that’s the only time I’m unguarded enough to put myself out there knowing I won’t get anything back.” Pause. “I do love you.” I think I needed to finally say it to him openly and directly, without whispering it or pretending to be half-asleep and rambling.
The Pedant murmured something and I totally didn’t catch the first bit but it ended with “the feelings are mutual.”
So, yeah. That happened.