If you’ve been hanging out here for a while, you know that I was mono for entirely too big a portion of my life – I actually didn’t realize, for a long time, that any options existed besides “loving, mono relationship” and “fucking whoever I want but never being loved” so I chose the option with the love and regretfully gave up on sexual variety.
But now I’ve figured out that non-monogamous relationships are a thing and I have two long-term partners who both love and fuck me. And it’s amazing, but it still feels sort of perverse. I still feel like I’m getting away with something or like at some point my partners are gonna go “waaaaait a minute, why are we letting her see us both?!”
Non-monogamy is definitely an orientation, for me, same as being hetero is – but I think it’s also, somehow, one of my kinks. I mean, specifically the part where everyone I’m seeing knows exactly what’s up and is fine with it.
Over the years, my kinky thrill keeps getting pushed further and further, from “OMG I came home from a date with The Pedant and Minx is totally fine with it all” to “OMG I just had sex with The Pedant and The Dandy knows it and he still wants to take me out to dinner” to “OMG The Dandy just made dinner for me and the guy I’ve been making out with all afternoon and we’re all sitting around the table having a perfectly lovely conversation” to “OMG The Pedant is over and I can literally walk back and forth between him and The Dandy, hugging and kissing them while the other watches, and nobody bats an eye” to “OMG The Pedant and The Dandy are both petting me at the same time” to “OMG THE PEDANT AND THE DANDY JUST LET ME GROPE BOTH THEIR CROTCHES SIMULTANEOUSLY.”
On The Pedant’s last visit he spent two nights here and on both nights, he was absolutely passed out from the sex we’d just had but I was restless and couldn’t sleep. I was perversely tempted to go into The Dandy’s room and try my luck sleeping there. Also, the Dandy’s total acceptance of my relationship with The Pedant always fills me with adoration (and the delightfully kinky feeling of getting away with something) and I get all horny for him, so I would happily have done more than just sleep in his room. But I’m pretty sure The Pedant would be hurt by me sleeping elsewhere (and I know he’d feel like sex with The Dandy was some kind of breach of hygiene). And it would be kinda rude for me to do that, given that The Pedant was over visiting me; he should be my focus.
Still, though. I super love the idea of having full sexual access to two men right in my home.
So yesterday I asked The Dandy how he would have felt if I’d banged him while The Pedant was over. Like, banged the Pedant, left him asleep in my bed, and come right to The Dandy’s room for seconds.
He hesitated, wrinkling his nose. “Well…I would at least want some sort of cleanup to take place first.”
“So, if I had a shower…?”
“Yeah, I mean, probably.”
Oh my. *Fans self*