Tag Archives: sex

Up and down

The Pedant is so weird. He’s a lot more forthcoming with sexy talk than he used to be, but he’s still really inconsistent with it. Maybe it just depends on whether he’s horny or not at any given time. I enjoy sexy talk just for the sport of it and would engage in that sort of banter with him at almost any time. Like not during a bout of the stomach flu or while watching the vet examine my horribly sick cat or something. But I don’t have to be actively wanting to wank in order to talk dirty.

A week ago I texted him: “I wish we were in a blank white room somewhere with you tied to the bed.” I was hoping to get something sexy in return, which does happen sometimes these days.

Instead he replied “That’ll have to wait. My work shifts won’t allow me to visit on October 16th, sadly.” (I’d asked him about the 16th ages ago – The Dandy is away that night at a work retreat thing. At the time he said he’d think about it but when I didn’t hear back within a few days I honestly just forgot all about it.)

By contrast, just now I texted him “Currently daydreaming about locking one of these onto you. Probably not practical under boots, but you’d look so pretty… http://www.eternitycollars.com/anklets/titanium-anklet” You can kind of see how flinchy I am there, anticipating the reasons why he’d tell me he wouldn’t wear such a thing. Being sure to specify that it’s a daydream.

His response: “It makes me hard that you’d want to keep me as a pet like that.”

Guuuuuuh I’LL BE IN MY BUNK.


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Sex talk

Dandette has said that she loves glass dildos. She thinks they’re pretty. I also know that she likes stuff with an octopus or tentacle theme. So I just ordered her one of these for Christmas. I’m not sure she realizes that tentacle-shaped glass dildos exist. I hope she doesn’t. I want her to be totally blindsided. 😀

I realized the other day that I’m mildly obsessed with buying Dandette sex toys, and it’s basically to make up for the fact that I’m not actually fucking her. She’s made it fairly clear that she would date me if I wanted. I’m not into that, but I do love her, so I guess I’m trying to give her orgasms indirectly. 😛

Oh, on a side note, she and I were talking today and I mentioned how The Dandy refused to touch my packer and she said yeah, she’s seen him be like that with dildos, too, that’s why she’s never asked him to use a toy on her. That’s sort of hilarious (but sad) to me because The Dandy has used them on me from the very beginning. But, come to think of it, not voluntarily: it just didn’t occur to me that he might have hangups, and anyway toys are a big part of my orgasms so using them is kind of non-negotiable, so when the time came I was just like “Here, fuck me with this dildo” or “yo, press the Hitachi right there and move it around” and he did. I wonder: if I’d seemed tentative, would he have balked? How much better would Dandette’s sex with him be if she just assumed he would do what she wanted/needed, and told him to?

It really sounds like the vast majority of The Dandy’s sex with Dandette is him coming into her mouth or vag and…that’s it. She says he used to get her off but it was a lot faster/easier in the beginning because that’s how she is with new people. Once she actually fell for him, the stakes were higher so she took longer to get off…and The Dandy stopped trying (whether correlation or causation I don’t know). She said her sex life with him since then has basically been intercourse and then after he leaves the room she finishes herself off. That makes me so angry I wanna punch him in the face.

So this is another reason I buy her sex toys: because her main partner is so terrible in bed with her!

I’m wondering if our discussion today will have some fallout, because when Dandette said the thing about never asking The Dandy to use toys on her I was so surprised that I blurted out “Really? We use them all the time.” Will Dandette ask for what she wants, now? Or will she still be too shy or whatever, but grow more and more resentful knowing that The Dandy is totally getting me off – using my vibrator and dildo – at least once every time we have sex? Will she approach him at some point like “I have recently learned that you’re using toys with Cowgirl and not me. You’re in serious trouble, young man!”? I don’t want him to end up angry at me for blurting out – in sheer surprise – that he takes care of my needs adequately in a way he doesn’t with her. I generally try to keep our bedroom stuff private; I’m not prone to having huge detailed talks about any of my partners’ sexual skills or predilections with anyone.

But I really am horrified by how selfish he is in bed.


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Third and probably final installment of the recent-ish Pedant visit

When we got back to our suite after dinner, it was around 1am and truth be told I was pretty tired and could have just gone to sleep. I felt like that would be a waste of the room we’d paid for, though, and The Pedant made it clear that he was game to keep going all night, so I rallied myself as best I could.

There had been talk of The Pedant bathing me and then massaging me, but the stupid bathtub  in the suite had no plug for the drain (none in the sink, either) so the bath part of the evening was moot. I did grab my thing of moisturizer and have The Pedant massage my feet with it, though. And he was quite thorough and didn’t ask “so, better now?” every thirty seconds like he used to. When he did finally ask if I was feeling better (in a full sentence and with much a more sincere tone than the flippant “better?” he used to repeatedly give me) I requested a bit more work on my right foot and he provided it, for a good long time.

He got me off again, and preparatory to that, he lubed up my dildo by sucking on it (I’m honestly a bit squeamish about the spit-as-lube thing but it’s definitely not the sketchiest thing I’ve ever done to my vag and anyway I wanted to enjoy the show). He sucked my juices off the dildo after I’d come, too. Like, full eye contact, wrapping his lips tenderly around the head and then taking the toy as deeply into his mouth as it would go. The visual turned me on but in a weird way I was hesitant to let it turn me on because, like…did The Pedant understand that I was kinda-sorta picturing him giving fellatio to an actual cock just then? It seemed like he was putting on a deliberate show to turn me on, but was it a fellatio show or an I-bet-you’re-anticipating-this-toy-inside-you/look-how-much-I-love-your-juices show? I was a little scared that if I stared too intently he’d suddenly realize what was going through my head and get all weirded out. So I tried to play it at least a little cool.

But, you guys…I…I think he actually was deliberately giving fellatio to my dildo*. I’m not absolutely sure. But I think so. This may be one of those things where he was freaked out at first but slowly came around.

I ended up securing The Pedant to the bed again (this time in standard spread eagle formation) and cutting his boxers off him with scissors and edging him a whole bunch. It will never not be amazing to me that he can get off from such slow, languorous touches. I told him to tell me when he was close to coming because I wanted to edge him a bit, and I just kept swirling each my lubed-up hands sloooooowly around the head of his cock and then down the shaft in turn, and pretty soon he was telling me “I’m close” after ten seconds of this and I would back up and let him cool down a bit. At one point he requested I insert the stainless steel butt plug. It’s really nice to see him asking for this; now I know for sure it’s not just a thing he’s doing for me. I’m not sure what the plug does for him, since when I use my fingers he seems to prefer me moving them in very gentle circles just inside his entrance rather than pushing on his prostate, but apparently it does something.

Unfortunately, when I finally decided I wanted him to come inside me, I rode him thinking he’d go off like fireworks inside of a minute but he…didn’t. His dirty talk lapsed from “I want to come inside you” (which was hot) to “please make me come” (which is a bit performance anxiety-inducing) and I was shunting up and down on his cock so quickly as to feel somewhat undignified. I decided I wanted to go back to the slow stroking. I dismounted, pulled the condom off, and went back to the hand job.

(On a side note: at no time during any of our canoodling did The Pedant seem even remotely tempted to enter me without a condom. There were times that we were lying with our genitals touching and I sensed no hyperawareness of this and no shifting closer to “tease” himself as he used to do. Which is hurtful to me. Back when he and I weren’t really seeing anyone else and we agreed not to ditch condoms until we got STI tests and they came back okay, he “got carried away” and put himself inside me before either of us had even made an appointment. But now that he has a girlfriend who’s said “we’re fluid bonded, don’t bareback anyone else,” apparently he’s not prone to getting carried away anymore. That little reminder that he loves someone else and will effortlessly adhere to her boundaries stings like hell – especially since he didn’t adhere to mine back then. I enjoyed telling myself it was because our chemistry was just so hot he couldn’t help himself – but our hot chemistry is still very much there and he’s somehow found self-control. Fuck.)

Even with me back to stroking The Pedant with my hands, he was having a hard time getting over the edge. I felt kinda bad for him. I wonder if I went too far with the edging and his cock just abandoned all hope, or if he was just tired because it was like five in the morning by that point? At any rate, after quite a bit more struggling and straining and desperation, he finally did get off. His orgasm was less sustained than one might expect; in fact he got oversensitive really quickly and whispered “stop.”

After that he passed out immediately, as he is wont to do. I needed more time to wind down. I ended up only getting about two hours’ sleep in the end (he didn’t fare that much better; maybe four hours for him). Once we’d checked out of the suite, we went up to my place to catch up on sleep for a bit. He used some flimsy-sounding pretext to avoid using my and The Dandy’s bed; I assume he just felt weird about that  and for some reason didn’t wanna tell me flat out. We ended up dozing cuddled up on the couch. Unfortunately the building picked the worst possible day to start testing the fire alarms, so the klaxon went off in little bursts every five minutes. But I managed to get some rest, anyway, and I think he did, too.

Then he needed to get home so I walked him to the bus stop ’cause the building/neighbourhood is complicated at first. And the bus came and we kissed goodbye and that was that.


*Related: last night I unpacked a box left over from moving in here and I found my packer (squishy limp cock-n-balls that a person without a cock-n-balls of their own can put inside their pants). I stuffed it into the front of my boxer briefs, found The Dandy, and asked him to cup my package. He wouldn’t. He refused to touch this hunk of squishy rubber(?) simply because it was shaped like a penis. Actually I’m pretty sure The Pedant reacted the same way, back in the day; it’s nice to see that he may be evolving a little bit.

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I want to fuck a magician.

It seems to be trendy these days to rag on magicians (or any kind of circus-ish performers) as being unsexy. I don’t really understand why.

Well, I mean, I assume it’s because a person ideally needs a sense of childlike wonder/suspension of disbelief to enjoy magic and circus stuff, and the hip, cool, cynical, sarcastic folks are all about the exact opposite of that.

But I like the idea of dating or fucking a performer of almost any kind. Performing in front of people requires confidence, physical prowess, and a good knowledge of how you come across – all great things in someone you’re banging. And magicians in particular are often really, really fast and deft with their hands, so…y’know. Rawr.

I mean, look at this guy. LOOK AT HIM. He makes it look like a Sharpie marker is disappearing into thin air and I have no idea how he does it. TBH I’m more impressed with that being a sleight of hand than I would be if it were actual magic. If magic powers actually existed, the Sharpie would have legit vanished. This guy had to put the Sharpie somewhere else without us noticing, which is a whole different thing. And he does it with such showmanship. His whole routine is a beautiful dance, really. And I guess that’s part of the draw for me with magicians: most of them have obviously put effort into how they come off. They’re not just doing tricks, they’re doing them with style. Most guys can barely be bothered to buy pants that fit right, and meanwhile the guy in my link there is successfully giving the appearance of conjuring smoke from nowhere with a flourish of his hands.



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Da secks

The Pedant hauled both our knapsacks down to the guest suite and I showed him around (he’d been so late that I’d had time to get the keys and scope the place out well before he arrived). Then I flopped down on the bed. I really hadn’t slept enough the night before and was feeling it. The Pedant methodically stripped down to his boxers, stowing each discarded piece of clothing neatly in the bedroom closet in his anal-retentive way. Then he left the room. I could hear him puttering around elsewhere. After probably over five minutes has passed I finally got curious as to what exactly he could be doing (what even was there to do in that otherwise empty apartment except hang out with me or use the bathroom?).

I found him in the bathroom futzing around. “I thought I’d unpack your stuff and have it at the ready,” he said, shyly (I’d brought bubble bath and a thing of moisturizer because there had been talk of him bathing and then massaging me). How lovely. Our official deal is that he only submits to me sexually, but he seems to be deliberately expanding out into other kinds of service.

He really has the best mouth. All full and pouty and shit. I got distracted by all the pretty and started kissing him, seizing him firmly by the jaw to move his head whichever way I wanted it. He immediately began to melt. His knees buckled a bit and he ended up leaning his butt on the edge of the bathroom counter with his legs awkwardly splayed and bent. The way he so completely fell under my spell put me in an even toppier headspace and I just wanted to devour him alive. “Mine” I whispered fiercely between kisses. “Yes,” he whispered back.

(When I’m making out with a sub and it gets this good, I always feel at a loss for what to do – like my desire gets so huge that there’s nowhere for it to go. I was thinking about this last night and realized that I do know where I want things to go: I want to seamlessly use The Pedant’s (or whoever’s) body as a passive, pretty tool to get myself off. If I were a cis man, I’d accomplish this by shoving my cock in his ass until I came. If I were in this body but ten years younger, I’d accomplish it by grinding up on him until I came. Unfortunately, I can’t come these days just from humping someone’s leg/pubic bone/whatever. I physically can’t use a man’s body for my pleasure the way I want to. And I hate that.)

I kept on making out with him for a while, occasionally going full American Psycho with it and admiring my reflection in the mirror as I did so (yeah, it’s narcissistic as fuck, but I’m hot when I’m toppy and it kind of fascinates me. A few years back I did a kinky photo shoot with my then-partner, The Doll, that included a few selfies of me licking his face through his latex hood and yanking his leash and stuff. I usually hate pictures of myself but in these I smouldered. I was lit up from the inside and radiating power and it was mesmerizing even to me). I made eye contact with myself over The Pedant’s furry shoulder and gave myself a congratulatory look. 😀

After a while I gently disengaged and said “Please unpack the rest of my things and put them wherever seems most logical. I’ll wait on the bed.” The Pedant did so. He even scoped out where there was an outlet for my Hitachi to plug into, and moved the bed out from the wall with me still on it in order to access the outlet and plug it in. All his manly upper body strength harnessed just for me. Prawr.

When he was done I had him massage my neck and shoulders for a bit. Then I made him stand in front of me so I could peel off his underwear. “I know you wore old ones so I could cut them off you, but that’s better done when you’re restrained. I want to see you naked now,” I said. His breath hitched with arousal. He shimmied the rest of the way out of his boxer briefs and kicked them away. I pulled him down on the bed with me and we kissed some more and then I whispered that I wanted his mouth on me. The Pedant has no idea that The Dandy won’t give me oral – I don’t tell personal things about one partner to another like that – so when The Pedant murmured in my ear “It is such a privilege to go down on you” before crawling down the bed to service me, he was saying it just because he wanted to and not because it was the best thing I could possibly hear from a man at that moment. But it totally was the best thing I could possibly hear from a man at that moment. This is why I love having multiple partners – they each offer different but amazing things.

The Pedant went down on me while massaging my g-spot with his finger(s), and that quickly turned me on enough that I wanted to finish the job with the Hitachi. I don’t know if it was the intensity of my orgasm (which was really good) or the fact that we were alone in a fairly soundproof apartment but I when I came, I wailed like a friggin’ banshee. The Pedant came up and held me while I giggled and shook and fought down my rising tide of post-orgasm violence.

Eventually, once my legs felt like they might work again, I set about securing The Pedant to the bed and playing with him. God, I miss my bed with the dog leashes wrapped around each corner; every time we play these days we have to spend a few minutes rigging up an under-the-bed strap system. This time, I thought I would stray from my usual spread-eagle thing with him – instead I secured just his arms to the bed, and then tried putting dog collars around his thighs and connecting a strap from one of those through the ring on his bondage collar to the other thigh-collar so his knees were trapped up by his chest. I wanted to play with his ass and I wanted him to feel a little helpless and exposed. This configuration…kind of worked. Turns out he’s not that flexible so his knees weren’t anywhere near his chest. He was just kinda…lying there with his knees up and the soles of his feet still planted on the mattress. The bondage didn’t really immobilize him or hold him in a slightly uncomfortable position or even put his asshole much on display. But oh well, worth a shot.

I slipped a gloved, lubed finger inside him and used my other hand to play with his cock. The Pedant is my favourite person to do hand stuff to ever; he gets really turned on, reacts strongly, and doesn’t require a fast, mechanical, repetitive shuffle motion in order to get off. I can be creative. I can slide my hand all over his cock sllllooooowwwwlyyyy. So I did, and he moaned and arched and his eyes rolled back in his head. I brought him to what I’m pretty sure was the edge of orgasm several times, and each time I did, I let go of his cock and just stimulated his ass and nipples for a while. My idea is that maybe by doing that I could kind of bait-and-switch him into having a prostate orgasm, but even if that didn’t work, worst case scenario is he’d have a minute to cool down before I built him up toward orgasm again.

I debated just endlessly edging him and then stopping when it was time to go up to my apartment for dinner (Dandette wanted to meet him), but The Pedant’s orgasms turn me on and I had a feeling he’d still be good for another round by the time dinner was done, so I went ahead and let him come. It was satisfyingly strong, and afterward I had to wait at least five minutes to get my right hand back because every time I tried to withdraw that finger from his ass, he reflexively clenched on it. “Jeez, you’re like one of those Chinese finger traps,” I said, affectionately.

More later.



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Oh ffs.

This apartment building I live in now has “guest suites” on the first floor – basically hotel rooms that the tenants can rent for visiting family members or whatever. The Pedant has today and tomorrow off, wants to spend some of it fucking me, and doesn’t want to do so at my place with Dandette and/or The Dandy in the next room, so we agreed that I would rent out one of these suites for the night and he would pay me back.

The Pedant had been better with time management the last few times I saw him but today he’s back to his old habit of repeatedly texting me “just a little longer” for hours. It’s…not exactly a big deal, yet. Check-in time for a suite is 4pm and that’s a couple of hours away. He claims, now, that he’ll be here for 3pm – so officially we lose nothing.

But the fact of the matter is, I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible and we had agreed that he would get here for noon. We were going to go pick up some snacks for our stay in the guest suite and then he’d re-shave my head for me before we went to pick up the keys. And I went to bed later than I should have because I was packing and preparing, which would have been fine if he’d gotten here on time, but of course instead I woke up earlier than I would have liked only to find a text message saying “whoops, maybe 12:30 instead.” Which is only a half an hour later than planned, so I didn’t go back to sleep, but then he texted no actually more like 1:30. So I didn’t go back to sleep. And that became 2:30 which now became 3pm. And I’m goddamned tired. And I’m goddamned sick of feeling like I put more effort into his visits than he does – I spent an hour cleaning and packing sex toys, many of them at his request. And I’m really too pissed off right now to want to play with him when he gets here, but I’ve paid for the fucking room. I’d really kind of like to cancel the whole thing and get my money back but I’m sure it’s too late.

On top of everything else, I thought I was running low on condoms so I bought a fresh new 24-pack last night (and I’m pretty strapped for cash right now so that $20 means something) and when I was packing all the toys etc I found two more caches of condoms in different spots around the bedroom. Like 30 condoms altogether. So…great.

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I forgot to chronicle this but a little while ago The Dandy and I had sex and he seemed to come several times but just keep going. But his orgasm sounds are barely anything so it’s hard to tell if he’s come or just gotten close. Afterward, I asked “Did you orgasm several times there, or…?”

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Well, I mean, your breathing – did you get close a few times but not quite over, or did you actually orgasm but just keep going?”

“Yes,” he said, infuriatingly, and that’s when I finally figured out that he didn’t know if he’d orgasmed. Which is a foreign concept to me, and doesn’t say much about the strength of his orgasms it would seem, but there you have it.

It was hot, though. The Dandy is almost completely silent and deadpan during sexual activity; the only time he makes any sound at all is when he’s close to coming/actually coming (and even then it’s just slightly quickened breathing). And I got to have way more of that moment than usual.

It happened again last night. Three different times he got to a point of desperation where he was breathing heavily and really grinding into me hard, his whole body seemingly clenched around me and focusing all its strength toward his thrusts. And he’d breathe a little harder and then go still…for about five seconds. And then he’d keep fucking me. The third one was markedly louder and more prolonged, and that’s when he was finally done.

Normally I don’t put a high priority on a guy lasting a long time in bed (lasting long inside me with the thrusting and everything, I mean; I do want him to be up for long sessions of bedroom stuff in general) but watching him get close and try furiously to come over and over again was fucking hot. I love it (in small doses) when a guy is so desperate to come that he resorts to basically using me as an object – putting his hands on my hips and physically moving me up and down on his cock and stuff like that. The Dandy was very much providing this. After he finished I got myself off twice, reveled in some afterglow, then realized I wanted more and picked up the Hitachi again for a third orgasm.

Oh also during our initial pre-sex canoodling The Dandy darted in, ninja-fast, and kissed me on the pubic bone. And smiled at me. I am so, so happy that he’s listened to what I want and is trying to meet me partway.

But I’m even happier that I’m gonna spend Tomorrow night with The Pedant, who loves to give oral for extended periods. I think I’ll bind his wrists together behind his back and make him go at me like it’s a pie eating contest.

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