Today’s art instructor rubs me the wrong way. Literally, almost; twice now she’s gone to point at some part of me while explaining stuff to the students and doinked me with her finger by mistake. She apologized both times, but still: there’s no excuse to fucking touch me. If you go to point and hit my skin by accident, you are too close. And she should have goddamned figured that out after the first time.
She’ll also, like, walk across the room while I’m posing (to talk to a student on the other side or whatever) and pass by me uncomfortably close when there’s plenty of space around me that she could have used.
I don’t feel like any of this is a power play or a sexual attraction thing. Some instructors who behave like her definitely give me that vibe, but not this one. I think this chick just thinks of me as a bowl of fruit or something instead of a person – which in some ways is worse. A person trying to sexually intimidate me is at least seeing me as a human being with boundaries and preferences – even if they’re deliberately violating them. Today’s chick just flat-out dehumanizes me by not even thinking that I might not want to be touched, or that I might not enjoy her passing so close to my naked body that her sleeve practically brushes against my tits.
She also tends to micromanage me as if I’ve never modeled before. I forgave it the first time we worked together, since she didn’t know yet how competent I am, but she did it on subsequent sessions, too. Mind you, the second time we worked together she evidently thought we’d never met before. I’m six feet tall with technicolour hair and parts of my head shaved but why would she ever remember me, right? 😛
And to be clear, I don’t mind if an instructor or artist has a very clear vision of what they want, and asks me “can you do this pose?” (I might not always be able to do that exact thing they want, but I don’t mind people asking.) I also don’t mind people giving general suggestions of a mood or direction to face or whether to sit or stand or things like that.
But today’s chick will say “let’s do some five minute poses. And Cowgirl, could we maybe have you leaning on a chair for some of these?” – and she drags over a chair and demonstrates – “You could do this or this or…” YEAH THANKS I KNOW WHAT “LEANING ON A CHAIR” ENTAILS. I believe last time we worked together she asked for some five-minute poses and wanted them to include a reclining pose where I showed my back (and started launching into a big description of what that meant…) so I made the very first one a reclined back-pose and a few poses later she whined that she had wanted a reclining back-pose and I hadn’t given her one. Jesus Christ.
It’s a good-paying gig, though. And it’s in some rich lady’s house, in a room with comfy chairs and a fireplace. And I like all the artists, just not the instructor. So, y’know…I’m just gonna keep on hiding my irritation and being as sweet and professional as I can.