The Dandy and I live in a major city and it’s getting expensive as fuck here. We’re somewhat exempt from the soaring rental prices, since we’ve been here a long time and you can only jack up the rent between tenants. But the flip side of that is we’re kind of…trapped. If we ever wanted to move to a different neighbourhood, we’d likely end up paying twice as much rent as we do now for half as much space. So we’re just kind of clinging to our tiny toehold here for dear life.
(Ohhh god, when The Dandy and I were talking about this the other day he said something like “I just don’t want to feel like I’m on the edge of poverty all the time” and I couldn’t help it, I just started incredulously laughing my ass off. My laughter seemed to snap him back to reality a bit and he sheepishly amended “Okay, not the edge of poverty per se. I mean I’ve gotten used to a certain lifestyle and I would resent it if we moved to a more expensive place and I had to give that up.” Fair enough.)
Anyway, even though we like this city and we like our apartment – no pressing reason to move, or anything – The Dandy and I are aware that if we moved to a less-major city, we might be able to own a pretty big house for the same amount we’re paying here. Or at least get an equally awesome apartment for a lot less, and have even more disposable income. So we’ve been idly talking about moving elsewhere.
It’s not the first time we’ve talked about this stuff, but I always balked before because I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving The Pedant behind*. Which seems ridiculous now. Things with him had kinda started to suck a long time ago and I hate thinking that I was limiting my options in life just so he could come over hours late, have (admittedly great) sex with me, and then eat my food and borrow money and/or try to get me to give him my actual damn furniture.
The thing is, the cheapest places to live will probably inevitably be ones where I won’t be able to find much work. Ideally I need a city with more than one college or university in it, plus efficient public transit because I don’t drive, and those are two of the specific factors that tend to make a city expensive.
I was pretty blunt with The Dandy. I told him that if we move somewhere cheap, chances are he’ll have to support me pretty much entirely. Actually, I used to have an online clip store (like, sexy/kinky clips to buy) and I feel I was excellent at making clips and would like to do it again, which I could do from anywhere. But I’d need to upgrade some tech to be able to record and edit clips properly and anyway it would be a long damn time before I could get steady money trickling in from that, if ever. So I’m willing to move to another city with The Dandy but he has to understand that I might never be able to contribute to the household financially. And he’d better be really damn serious about keeping me around permanently because if we’re living in some city with no model gigs and he breaks up with me, I am completely fucked. Like…completely.
None of that even made The Dandy blink. I thought it might give him pause, since before me he was totally supporting Dandette and she was pretty obviously a millstone around his neck that he was dying to cut loose but didn’t know how because he was ostensibly her only means of survival. It seems pretty likely that I could become the same thing to him, if he sours on me. But I guess he doesn’t see himself souring on me. (Also, he sees me as having better survival skills than Dandette does. I’m not sure that’s true**, but it’s how he sees it.)
I couldn’t support myself on my own in this city, anyway, and I love The Dandy, so fuck it, I’m throwing my lot in with his and we’ll see where we end up.
*I’d be sad to leave my friends, too, but what I do with my friends via text/email is basically same same as what I do with them in person: talking, sharing anecdotes, pep talks when the other one is going through stuff, etc. I wouldn’t need to miss them all that much if I moved away. Conversely, when I was physically near The Pedant there were cuddles and sex and when I wasn’t physically near him there was…almost nothing, so being within visiting range of him was a bigger deal to me.
**On one hand, I’m more mentally stable and when I’ve needed money, I’ve buckled down and figured something out. On the other hand I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety and would pretty much rather die than live with strangers (and even in cheaper cities, I might not be able to reasonably afford an apartment on my own at this point), while Dandette is super extroverted and would probably be fine crashing in someone’s bathtub or sleeping dorm-style in bunk beds in a room with forty other people. So I think it’s actually about even.