The Dandy is officially the cook here (I hate cooking and am not good at it). He bows out of cooking dinner pretty often, though (I don’t think he realizes HOW often but whatever). Most of the time that it happens, I don’t see it coming – he just says “I have no interest in cooking today” and then he either orders us food or we both fend for ourselves.
Last night though he came home and said “time to space out for an hour and then start working again” (he’s a software developer and can work at the office or at home).
So it was a no-brainer to think that he wouldn’t want the burden of preparing food.
I came into his room and said as much and asked if he’d like me to pre-heat the oven for one of the instant-ish meals he has in the freezer. He said “Yes. Lasagna. …No, perogies. …No. I don’t know. I’m too burned out to decide.”
“You want lasagna,” I said, and went off to preheat the oven while I grilled up a trout fillet for myself.
I’ve been afraid of ovens all my life (shut up) but I’ve been somewhat getting over it since moving here. When the oven was good to go I realized there wasn’t really any reason not to put the lasagna in myself. The Dandy didn’t know I’d done this, and headed toward the kitchen a while later. I intercepted him and said “Lasagna time in about half an hour.”
“You’re cooking me dinner,” he said, happily. “It’s been a long time since you’ve done that.”
“It was really obvious that you’re having a rough day. I’ve got your back,” I said, hugging him.
While The Dandy ate his lasagna and I sat on the couch, I realized I was craving chocolate but we were all out.
“Y’know…” I said, “if you really wanna clear your head of work stuff for a bit, you could walk to the drug store for more chocolate. I’d keep you company and bring the dog so we get her walk out of the way.”
The Dandy considered this. “Your premise is sound,” he concluded.
After he ate I heard him fire up the shower. Showering is another thing he does to clear his head. It wasn’t clear to me if he’d decided against a chocolate run or was simply showering before going out, but I could afford to wait and see.
His showers take a thousand years. After that I heard the sound of his electric toothbrush (brushing his teeth is another clearing his head/getting a sense of control over his life thing).
At this point I was really dying for chocolate so I headed down the hall with the intent of asking what was up. Before I even reached him or spoke, The Dandy said “I’m up for a chocolate run. I just needed to take a shower because -”
“…to decompress. I know,” I said. I love that I know this about him.
On our way out to the store we saw a cool-looking display case someone had disposed of. We both determined that we wanted it. The Dandy said let’s still go to the store first and come back to assess the display case later. He said probably nobody would have taken it by then because the glass in one of the doors was shattered.
As we made our way to the shopping plaza, I said to The Dandy “I’m just spitballin’ here and I don’t guess this will interest you but I’m kinda thinking, if one pane of glass on the display case needs replacing anyway, it would be kinda cool to swap all of them out for coloured glass! Like with a violet tint to it or something. I realize this would somewhat defeat the purpose of a display case. But it would kinda work if someone was putting dishes in there or something – stuff that looked nice enough but wasn’t, like, ‘ooooooooooh!'” – I made a sweeping “ta-da” hand gesture to indicate very fancy things you want people to look at.
The Dandy chuckled at that.
We talked a bit more about what we might use the case for and where we would put it and – most importantly – how the fuck we would get it inside. The thing was huuuuge, probably six feet wide. It would hang over the edges of our dolly considerably no matter which way we put it on there. And the unspoken issue there is that I suck at lifting and maneuvering heavy things.
“Clearly,” I said, “I need to get myself another boyfriend and move him in with us, just so we’ll have some more muscle to help us with these furniture-moving projects.”
The Dandy paused and for a second I wondered if he felt I was suggesting he wasn’t enough for me or what. But then he said “I’d be okay with that, but only if he’s rich enough to make a penthouse a possibility.”
“Noted!” I said, grinning.
TBH I’m not sure I’d want to live with two partners. I remember how Dandette and I used to bond by mocking The Dandy and I feel like that sort of thing is kind of inevitable among metamours. I don’t have a SUPER thin skin but the thought of living with two people who know me reeeeeally well, including the bad stuff…I’d feel like I was really caught in the cross-hairs.
But it’s great to fantasize about the fun, sexy stuff, like the three of us living in one of our building’s huge luxury penthouses and me (in theory) being able to go into whoever’s room I wanted for snuggles and/or sex. So I like that The Dandy gave me license to dream.
Also – he may not have been kidding. He’s remarkably un-jealous and it seems feasible that he WOULD be okay in a live-in poly V, provided of course that he didn’t have to financially support the other guy.
Tragically, the drug store was closed due to some kind of emergency. And it was late enough that everything else nearby was closed. So that was a bust. I remembered I had chocolate syrup and gluten free waffles at home to tide me over though.
On the way home we took a closer look at the display case and it turns out it only LOOKED fancy – it was in fact made of particle board. We instantly agreed that we didn’t want it, after all.
On our way upstairs The Dandy decided that it was possible for him to set work aside for the rest of the night, after all. He said he was feeling too wrecked to be productive.
“Wanna hang out and watch something with me?” I asked.
He hesitated a bit too long and I figured this meant he didn’t but was too chicken to say so. So I jumped in with “…OR, if you really need to just space out with YouTube, can I have like ten minutes of snuggles first?”
He didn’t directly answer me but he did say that this is why we need to get a living room PC to hook up to the tv (an idea we’ve been bandying about) – because then he could watch YouTube in the living room and snuggle me AT THE SAME TIME.
“That would seriously solve SO MANY of my insomnia issues,” I said. “And that’s not a dig at the stuff you watch. You know I’ll also put on stuff of MINE to fall asleep to.”
We stripped down and snuggled on his bed and talked for a while about all kinds of things and I felt really close to him (I was hoping sex might materialize and it didn’t, but I know work fucks up his sex drive so I didn’t feel too anxious about it). And then he got up and sat in his computer chair and started using this scissor-jacknife thing to cut the dead skin off his feet and I decided to leave him to it and do other stuff and when I said “I need to get by you, could you just – ” he knew I was having a mild panic about the scissors and that I needed him to point the blades away from me while I squeezed past his chair and out the door.
I just…I love that we know each other so well. I love how easy it is to do nice things for each other that make the other person feel loved. I love The Dandy’s and my big plans for revamping the apartment, and how generous he is with making space in it for me.
Things feel good right now. 🙂