Materialism

My skull ring arrived and it’s basically the best thing ever. Worth every single penny, for real.

For years now, even when I did spend money on something kind of substantial, it was usually a cheaper version of something I actually wanted (which, as I said in a previous post, often backfired because the cheaper thing would be substandard enough that I’d have to get yet another version of it).

The feeling of buying the absolute best thing – the thing I originally wanted, not a compromise – is nice. Really nice. Holy shit.

It’s probably too soon to tell, but I suspect that if I keep giving myself license to spend money on good stuff, I’ll spend less money on crap. I don’t mean “crap” as in “knockoffs of the expensive thing I wanted” (although obviously that, too, is true) – I mean sometimes it’s been a while since I’ve bought myself anything fun, and I have an urge to treat myself to something, but I’m so scared of spending money that I’ll “treat myself” to $15 of dollar store craft supplies I’ll likely never use rather than buying something that’s more expensive but amazing. And the buzz from the craft supplies will wear off fast and I’ll go buy some other dumb thing.

Whereas my $200 skull ring is…breathtaking. It makes me happy every single day. Way more satisfaction than $200 of sporadic dollar store purchases could give me. So maybe this giant buzz from the skull ring will keep me from buying dumb dollar store stuff.

On the other hand, my giant buzz from the skull ring is making me cast about to see what other super fancy expensive things I can buy in order to feel that same buzz again.

But, like…I’ve been depriving myself of nice things for a long, long time. I don’t think my little spending spree recently (and the fact that I want to buy more big things soon) means I’m gonna be hugely spendy forever. I think it means I need to catch up a bit on getting myself stuff, and once I get some of the things I’ve been wanting for ages, the spending urge will slow down.

That’s my theory but we’ll see.

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