Pedant and Dandy: together at last

The Pedant came for a visit. We spent the first night at my place and the second in a rented guest suite because reasons.

He arrived late, of course. And it still makes me feel stabby. But it doesn’t seem like something he’s capable of changing so I’m trying to get over it.

The Dandy got home from a social engagement literally five minutes after The Pedant arrived. As I have mentioned previously, they were friends (or acquaintances, at least) before I ever met either of them. We ended up standing in the hall talking for a while – or maybe they talked and I stood around near them.

The Dandy and The Pedant have a weird relationship; I don’t think they’ve ever hung out together on purpose, only bumped into each other at clubs etc. In fact, The Dandy has indicated that he finds The Pedant a bit assholish and tedious. And yet when they are together they immediately get into super intense and animated conversation about politics and stuff – not arguments, the intensity seems to come from them agreeing with each other on most things and getting into a big validation circlejerk. I might be wrong about that though because their chosen topics are sooooo fucking boring to me that I tune out.

As they talked, I would idly go snuggle and kiss first one man, then the other, and they affectionately squeezed and kissed me back as they continued talking. Neither of them was weirded out by me being so clearly enamored with and involved with both of them. I’m still not used to this amount of openness at all, having gone straight from monogamy to solo-poly, so I felt like I was big-time getting away with something and it was thrilling as fuck. πŸ˜€

On a side note, when Dandette was living here and we were both The Dandy’s girlfriends, he would walk around the apartment naked because why the hell not. I mean we’d both fucked him and he’s kind of a nudist anyway so there really was no need for modesty. It was always hella weird for me, though. I’ve only ever been solo-poly so I guess all my mono socialization kicked in and made me feel like him being naked in front of two people was weird or wrong.

That quasi-triad we had stretched me out of my comfort zone in a million different ways and TBH I’m still a bit bitter about it and I sometimes have petty revenge fantasies about making The Dandy endure some of the same discomforts he put me through. So eventually as we all stood in the hallway I took off my shirt and bra. Although it turns out The Dandy wasn’t weirded out by seeing me naked while his acquaintance was also present and seeing me naked so meh.

The Pedant and I did have sexy funtimes that night, though, in my bed with The Dandy right in the next room, so The Dandy likely heard me loudly getting off from someone not-him. Which is satisfying.

As for the sexytimes themselves, The Pedant and I had fun (obviously) but we were slightly self-conscious of The Dandy being so close by. I didn’t want to be giving a lot of commands etc with someone within earshot plus my room is not yet really well equipped for bondage etc so basically there was just kissing and touching and him getting me off and eventually I rode him for a bit but it seemed like that wasn’t getting him anywhere (he said something about having done…something earlier to ensure that I could play with him for longer. I assume jerking off before he left the house or something. But he consistently does dirty talk/sexy talk in a whisper and half the time I can’t hear him…). Eventually I switched to a hand job and that made him come. Fascinatingly, there was a ton more semen than usual and it seemed to arrive all at once, like his cock threw a cup of warm water on me: GOOSH!

And then he fell asleep in the dead centre of the bed as usual. I even braced against the wall and tried to shove him over to make room for me and he didn’t budge – although to his credit when I poked him and told him to shove over, he did.

The next morning I woke up hungry as fuck, and everyone else was asleep and the apartment was warm, so I didn’t bother with a robe or anything. I thought I would eat a bowl of cereal and then maybe go back to bed, but The Pedant came out, instead, and saw me eating cereal on the couch naked and was bemused (“so you’re…just not gonna bother with clothes, then? Okay.”). He went off and had a morning poop and then The Dandy woke up and was puttering around making coffee and stuff and long story short I never did end up putting clothes on, mostly because I didn’t want to admit that I did feel slightly exposed and uncomfortable. But also maybe a teeny-tiny bit because I was daydreaming about a threesome. πŸ˜€

My two guys got suuuuper engrossed in conversation over the breakfast table, again about shit I don’t care about. I was on the couch just eating and zoning out, bored shitless. So after I finished my food, when I was able to get a word in edgewise (it took several tries πŸ˜› ) I said to them, “Hey – it seems like a waste that I have access to two pairs of hands and none of them are on me. You should come over here and pet me while you continue your conversation.”

Hilariously*, The Dandy immediately stood up and took a step toward me – and then glanced over at the still-seated Pedant and hesitated.

The Pedant laughed and said something like “Well this is a novel approach. Normally a person would just say ‘stop talking now, I’m bored.'”

“I don’t care about the talking. I care that I’m not getting petted,” I said. The Pedant remained seated, just kinda staring at me. The Dandy was frozen in place standing two steps from the table, looking back and forth between the two of us. “Dude, I’m six feet tall,” I said, mostly to The Pedant.Β  “One of you can be at my head and the other at my feet and you’d still be halfway across the room from each other.” I almost added “your balls aren’t gonna touch, ffs” but bit the words off, thinking I might come across a wee bit too strident.

I think it was The Dandy who started making his way to me first, at that point, and The Pedant got up a moment later.

They continued yakking away on the couch while I stretched naked between them, drifting in and out of sleep, getting my calves and feet massaged by The Pedant and my head lightly scritched by The Dandy. After a while I changed position so I was pointing the other way, and The Pedant worked the knots out of my upper back muscles while The Dandy petted my feet. At times, one or the other of them would do something that made me thrash and howl with pleasure. Neither of them acknowledged this at all, and I’m sure that’s less because they were so focused on their conversation and more because acknowledging my sounds would make the whole interaction seem kind of sexual and neither of them wanted it to go there. For my part, it felt a little weird to be ignored like that. But if they’d focused on me I would have felt really in the spotlight and under pressure to entertain them (which is kind of why I didn’t go the “hey shut up you’re boring me” route in the first place: I would have felt pressure to come up with a conversation that I could take part in, too, and that would also entertain both of them, and I was not up to it. Or I could yoink The Pedant away for more sex, but I do like that the two of them are friends and don’t wanna wedge myself between them (except if a threesome were on offer. πŸ˜€ ). Also I wanted to save the Pedant sex for when our suite was ready and we’d have proper privacy.)

Being co-petted while half-listening to a conversation I wasn’t particularly expected to participate in (but could jump into if I felt like it) was restful as all hell. It lasted a while; then it was time to get the keys to the suite, and when I got back they were still talking so I slotted myself back in there and dozed off some more. All told, the pettings lasted for about an hour and a half. *Bliss.*

I’m gonna split this saga up into another post. TTYS.



*Hilarious for two reasons: 1) The Dandy identifies as dominant, and says he does so because people just somehow tend to do what he tells them and that he hates being told what to do and is just too goshdarned headstrong and independent to ever obey an order from someone (presumably he means from social equals, not his boss or a cop or whatever). But here I am, telling his extremely heterosexual self to come team up on me with another guy, and he just stands up automatically like I’d pushed a button. The only reason he stopped is apparent fear of what the other man in the room would think of him. I actually tell The Dandy to do stuff a lot and he does it without even noticing I didn’t phrase it as a question. 2) Before this visit I’d been letting my fantasies run wild-ish and was debating channeling them into a wee piece of erotica and posting it here. The erotica was going to be about The Pedant and The Dandy acting mildly homoerotic for my viewing pleasure: specifically, I would ask them to pretend to be about to kiss so I could ogle them and then fap to the scene later. In my mind’s eye, The Dandy willingly began to perform for me but then got awkward and drew up short because The Pedant was a lot more reticent. So yeah. I totally called it. πŸ˜€

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