I was sexting The Pedant the other day when this happened:
Me: I wish I were using you right now.
Pedant: What have you got in mind?
Me: I have no elaborate plan right now. I just want to have you secured to the bed and be riding you. See how many times I can bring you to the edge and how hard I can make you beg.
Pedant: And, no doubt, if you really had your way, lowering yourself over me bare for the last few moments [he means without a condom], forcing me to come inside you and purring in my ear when it happened.
Me: No forcing. I’d tease you, hover with your cock just…right…there…and not lower my body until you begged for it. More fun, in this instance, to make you lose control than to take it from you. 😀
Pedant: You really enjoy being asked and/or begged for things, don’t you?
Me: Especially things you’d previously said you didn’t want. 😀 Feels powerful to seduce you into an entirely different opinion.
Pedant: Things like?
Me: Ditching condoms. [When he started dating his other girl, he transferred the fluid-bonding privileges to her. So one presumes he doesn’t want to bareback me anymore, or at least that he was required to choose and he wanted to bareback her MORE]
Pedant: Do you mean when we originally did, or do you mean that I’m thinking of it now? And what else?
Me: Now. The very first time we barebacked, if you’ll recall, you didn’t ask me. [New message] What else? I like that you enjoy anal play now when you were once pretty averse to the idea. I don’t think of myself as having seduced you into that, though, I just gave you the space to think about it and get curious. [New message] The time you offered to suck my favourite silicone toy clean I just about melted. That’s something I never thought I’d see you do, when we were first together. And it. Was. Glorious. [New message] And these weren’t kinks you already had – or if you did, you didn’t throw them at just anyone. Feels like I brought this out in you; that you trusted me with these things. And that makes my heart all fluttery. Or maybe I mean clitoris.
Pedant: Yes, I remember that [facepalm emoticon] [He’s referring to the first-time-barebacking me thing] I am thinking about [barebacking] now. I’ve got good reasons for not going through with it, but the idea of giving myself over to you completely still makes my heart race. [New message] Don’t sell yourself short. You did seduce me into allowing a woman to engage in anal play with me. If it was something I wanted, I wasn’t even aware of it until you suggested it and then gave me the space to think about it enough that I became curious. I don’t think I’d ever have allowed it until you brought it out, and now I love submitting to you that way. I probably wouldn’t have even thought about sucking a woman’s toys clean until you persuaded me to submit to you so completely. I did trust you with those things, but you coaxed me into letting them out in the first place. [New message] So, your heart and clitoris have reason to flutter.
Me: Well, they both are. [heart eyes emoticon]
Pedant: I’m glad to be able to do that for you.
So yeah. I am absolutely gobsmacked that he said these things to me. A few years back he wouldn’t have talked about sex via text message at all, let alone been so completely upfront and vulnerable and verbally affectionate.
And I think he does like submitting to me. Not just bottoming, but submitting*. Which is another thing I never thought I’d get from him.
*I think he also conflates certain activities with submission and this can muddy the waters a bit. But he does enjoy me controlling him and dictating what we do together.