Poly solutions

Shit actually turned out really well, though.

The thing is, I’m uncomfortable having sex too blatantly while Dandette is in the house. Mostly because of two things:

  1. On several occasions she made an offhanded (but slightly sad/bitter) comment that he clearly prefers sleeping with me (referring to actual sleep; she’s made it clear that he’s welcome to sleep in her bed if he wants, and he has when she’s requested it, but otherwise does not). The third time or so that she said this, she apologized, perhaps seeing the awkward look on my face. Like maybe she was actually trying to commiserate with me in a friend-type way, but how I read it was accusatory; like she was telling me I hog up too much of The Dandy’s attention and it’s bothering her. And if she feels this way about where he sleeps, I can’t help feeling that she’d be pretty bummed if he and I fucked more than he and she did, too.
  2. It feels like every fucking time we have the bedroom door closed for a while with The Dandy and I both inside, Dandette will come up with an excuse after to mention it. “Oh I had a funny thing I wanted to tell you but when I came to say it – whoops – you were having sex.” I interpreted this as her being jealous and kind of creepily being like “I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING IN THERE” (except here’s the thing – a lot of the time we weren’t fucking. Which makes it even worse, to me; she’s imagining a much richer sex life for us than we’re actually having. How badly is this bothering her?!?) but The Dandy said he thinks she means it as, like, acknowledgement and support. Making our sex a thing that we all know happens rather than a secret. That may be true. My anxiety is acting up lately and making me interpret things all weird. But at any rate I got so sick of her pointing out our alleged sex every time the door was closed for a bit that I started mostly fucking him furtively while she was out smoking and stuff.

So The Dandy had sex with Dandette – sex that we all acknowledged was about to happen, and I got to show by example what being cool with that might look like (to wit: smiling at them as they went into the bedroom and then shutting the fuck up and doing my own thing). After a while of them being in the bedroom with the door closed, they both emerged – The Dandy headed down the hall toward me, Dandette heading toward the kitchen/living room. I felt like I wasn’t intruding on any afterglow or anything so I took that chance to intercept The Dandy and say – with Dandette perfectly within earshot – “I would also like a penising. Come here.”

Dandette chuckled and said “have fun!” and I wasn’t particularly afraid she was being fake-supporting because, after all, she’d just fucked him. She was sexually sated and she’d gotten him first. I was taking nothing away from her.

I retrieved my favourite dildo and went into the bathroom to rinse it off, assuming that this was how The Dandy would be servicing me. But he was already in there washing his junk in the sink and hey, if he was planning to just do stuff with implements and his hands, there was no real need for that, so……!

“Ummmm do you think you’d be able to actually…?!?” and I gestured at his junk and made a hand gesture indicating getting an erection.

“Yes,” The Dandy said, grinning. “That’s why I’m washing off.”

“Oh you are the BEST BOY EVER.”

So I didn’t even have to settle for a dildo consolation prize – I got to feel The Dandy inside me and be close to him just like I wanted.

…Well, part of what I wanted was to feel/see/hear him come, and I guessed (rightly) that chances were slimmer than usual. But since I knew Dandette had gotten the fast/easy orgasm out of him, I was able to tailor my turn accordingly. Instead of being sort of passive and hoping to experience his orgasm before my vag got sore, I decided to make it a Hitachi Sandwich kinda day (Hitachi Sandwich requires a lot of penis stamina). I rode him until I came, and then we flipped over and The Dandy tried to “get there” himself but his thrusting muscles got too tired, and then I invited him to just jerk off instead but that kinda didn’t work either so we just snuggled.

So I didn’t get to see him climax but I did get very well fucked and was just a happy sweaty sore heap of limbs after. It was totally what I needed.

And we cuddled until Dandette called out that she’d made us breakfast. 😀

And Dandette didn’t remark upon us having had sex, like, at all.

I’m hoping this whole incident has defused some of the sexual awkwardness and I’ll feel more comfortable just blatantly being like “penis nao plz” instead of trying to be subtle for Dandette’s sake.  Actually, shit, maybe if I’d been like that it would have prevented her from making her stupid little “tee hee, your door was closed, I know what that means” comments by rendering them pointless. Why didn’t I think of that before?

Still, though. I think Dandette is mostly fine with The Dandy and I (honestly!) but that there is some amount of jealousy there. Most likely jealousy that has nothing to even do with me directly; when she was off her meds her sex drive plummeted so I suspect it’s not even that she wanted to fuck him and felt like I beat her to the punch, it’s that she wanted to want to fuck him but actually had no urge to and she missed it. Which means I wasn’t taking anything from her; I wasn’t hogging The Dandy or seducing him away from her or whateverthefuck; I was partaking of something she wasn’t currently interested in.

She’s back on the meds now, btw, and is a lot more pleasant to be around.

I do worry that she might not be great at initiating things; that maybe she does want sex sometimes but doesn’t let The Dandy know, and then if I claim his cock for my own use she’ll feel resentful. After breakfast when she was out for another smoke, I told The Dandy that – ridiculous though the request was – I kinda needed to hear him tell me that it’s not up to me to play hostess and make sure everyone is getting laid sufficiently etc. And that I’m not monopolizing The Dandy’s attention or anything. He reassured me that this was all true – if Dandette isn’t asking for what she wants, it’s her problem and nobody else’s, and no, I’m not hogging up all of his time and attention.

I feel better now.

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