This was a bittersweet thing but I wanted to put it down here for posterity anyway.
When all three of us were at Dandette’s parents’ house (alone, her parents being on vacation), there was an evening where I guess her brain chemistry took a random upswing and things felt okay. We had a bonfire in the back yard that night and roasted marshmallows. We were admiring the night sky (so dark, away from all the city lights. Such stars) and Dandette reminded us that there’s also a full-size trampoline in the yard and said we ought to go lie there and star-gaze.
So we did that (Dandette pulling my head onto the crook of her shoulder and kissing the top of my head – more affection than she’d shown me in weeks, and I was humiliatingly grateful for it, and yet I couldn’t really relax into her affection, knowing how mood-swingy she’s been lately; it felt like a trap).
At one point Dandette said “could you imagine having sex on this thing?” and/or implied that she actually has fucked on the trampoline at some point. My immediate thought was that it would be difficult to fuck on a trampoline because of the bounce – there wouldn’t be enough resistance to thrust against, surely.
Then either Dandette or The Dandy started goofing off and jostling the trampoline – like still lying down, but I guess lifting their feet up and letting them fall so it bounced us all in the air for a second. And I wondered if it would be possible for two people to fuck on the trampoline without thrusting at all, if someone else was bouncing next to them. Like, could the people’s genitals get bounced together by a third party making energy waves?
I was genuinely curious about this, but unwilling to fuck so publicly, plus going into the house to find condoms would be a drag. But Dandette is an exhibitionist with an IUD.
So I said my theory of trampoline sex out loud. Dandette said “If only I were wearing a skirt instead of pants right now.” I pointed out that there’s a curtain around the trampoline so I didn’t think neighbours would be able to see. “No, I’m worried about offending you,” Dandette clarified. I said nah, it’s good, go for it.
So Dandette and The Dandy stripped from the waist down and she mounted him and I sat on my knees next to them (still fully clothed) and started raising my ass up and flumping it back down on my heels to bounce the two of them.
Dandette’s breathing quickened from the feel of The Dandy’s cock inside her and I don’t know why that felt like a needle stabbing me in the heart but it did. Actually, no, I know what it was: it made me wonder if she was the kind of person who gets off from penetration alone. Those chicks, it seems to me, are the holy grail of men everywhere. If Dandette was one of those magical women who gets off during intercourse without needing anything “extra”, I’d feel like I must surely be inferior to her in The Dandy’s eyes.
But I needed to continue the experiment. FOR SCIENCE!
I kept bouncing. I put one hand lightly on Dandette’s back, kind of to brace myself but also to try to make the sex more into something all of us were doing, not just them with me there as some kind of functionary. Dandette did not acknowledge my touch or really even my presence in any way, and neither did The Dandy. The two of them were looking into each others’ eyes, or at least zoning out with their faces pointed toward each other. One of The Dandy’s hands was lying near me on the surface of the trampoline and I wanted to reach out and clasp it in my own but since they were both absorbed in each other I felt like I’d be cutting in on their personal moment. I didn’t want to look needy; I wanted to be generous, to show them that I support them being together.
And then The Dandy came. Dandette did not, or if she did she was pretty much silent.
Dandette dismounted and sucked The Dandy’s cock clean. They both put their pants back on. Dandette said “Well. Thanks for rocking my world, you guys” and then went inside to pee. I lay down next to The Dandy, who promptly put his arm under me and gathered me up against him.
“So hey,” I said. “I know I’m being totally ridiculous, but humour me: you still want me, right? We’ll still have sex?”
The Dandy assured me that we would.
I expressed a bunch of insecurities and jealousies to him – that I’m afraid I’ll seem boring to him compared to the chick who’ll fuck in public and doesn’t need condoms, that I’m so fucking jealous that she gets to bareback him and I can’t that it’s pretty much killing me. He listened patiently, petting my arm. He said I’m not boring to him. He said the thought of getting a vasectomy makes him squeamish because cutting and clamps.
We went inside and I decided to avail myself of the house’s Jacuzzi, right away before anyone else could get dibs and use up all the hot water. I’d just watched my boyfriend come inside another woman; I deserve the goddamned hot water. While I was in there I managed to use one of the jets to get myself off – not because watching the sex had turned me on (it hadn’t) but as a kind of consolation prize because I didn’t get any sex. It was difficult to come because images of them fucking kept popping into my head and ruining my buzz. I persevered and eventually succeeded.
That night I requested The Dandy’s presence in the bedroom I was using (for the past two nights he’d slept next to Dandette). Neither of them had a problem with this. Being snuggled to sleep helped me to feel better.
But y’know, on top of all the predictable garden-variety insecurity stuff, I’m also flat-out jealous because I wanna know what it would feel like to have bouncy trampoline sex! I love being on top of The Dandy during PIV, but my thighs start to hurt really quickly. Being bounced on his dick by a third party sounds like it would be easy and hilarious and feel delightful. But I’m not willing to fuck him in front of Dandette, and with her ever-changing moods I’d be too scared to ask her even if I wanted to, so it’s not a thing I’ll get to experience. Even though it was my idea in the first place.