The Dandy and I were talking about penis size the other night for whatever reason and he said that the last time he measured himself, he was seven inches or seven-and-a-half or something like that.
I almost blurted out “Pffffffffft! Where were you measuring from?!?” but I managed to restrain myself. I did give off palpable vibes of surprise, though, because The Dandy’s size looks dead average to me at most (average is 4″-6″ and is my favourite. I’ve been very vocal about that preference and very vocal about The Dandy being the perfect size for me). Then a thought occurred: “Were you thinner than now at the time that you measured?” The Dandy said that he was. “Ah, then some of that length may be taken up by this, now” I said, affectionately touching his lower belly. I’ve heard that a guy’s weight can make a difference to how long his dick is. Or how long it looks or how much of it is on the outside or whatever.
But that still doesn’t really make sense to me. If some of his dick-length was just subsumed in fat, any time he thrust into me hard, the fat around the base would compress and that extra, hidden dick-length would end up inside me and he’d probably nail me in the cervix. He’s never hit bottom on me and though I’ve never made a concerted effort to mash down his lower-abdomen fat with my hand, I’ve given him plenty of hand jobs and played with his dick a million times and I am not sensing a bunch of hidden shaft.
Our conversation segued into me giving him a hand job and I surreptitiously measured his erection against my index finger. My index finger is about three inches long. The Dandy’s cock was only a fraction longer than my finger. Budgeting in some extra room if you tamp down his fat, I’d guess him to be maybe four inches.
So how on Earth did he ever arrive at the idea that he’s 7.5″? Did he measure from his asshole? Did he lie to me in a very weird attempt to impress me (me, the one who loves average-size dicks almost to the point of fetishism and who has seen his erect penis hundreds of times)? Was he looking at the centimetres instead of the inches by accident? I just don’t get it. He seems to know that his penis isn’t huge (and is fine with that). So…maybe he just doesn’t know how big average is, and he believes he’s 7.5″ and that this is kinda small?
It’s all very strange. And I didn’t feel like I could ask him about the discrepancy without sounding as if I were shaming him or trying to humiliate him. You could ask a guy how he managed to mis-measure a shelf he was hanging but you can’t ask him how he managed to mis-measure his dick (by like almost fifty percent!!!) without there being a bunch of cultural baggage attached.