The Dandy’s aunt (whom he is close to) is having heart issues. He learned about this last night. He decided he’d better go visit her in hospital the next day (in another city) and Dandette and I offered to go with him for support.
The Dandy never seems visibly upset about anything ever, including this, and I’ve only met his aunt once, so TBH I didn’t see the point in me going. But I have a history of partners being mad at me for not seeming to care about stuff enough* so I figured offering to go was the thing to do.
But when Dandette and I offered, he kept being like “Meh, you can come if you want to.” Dandette finally said, point-blank, “What do you want? Do you need support or do you need to be alone?” The Dandy said he didn’t know. Well fuck, I hope he doesn’t end up resenting us for not guessing right.
Dandette said that one of us should stay home to take care of the pets. I quickly volunteered, because I had plans to hang out with a friend today anyway (which I made clear I would happily cancel if necessary, but, y’know…) and because Dandette knows The Dandy’s family much better than I do.
Then Dandette and I went to bed and The Dandy stayed up for a while longer and ultimately crashed out in Dandette’s room with her, and today he went to see his aunt alone. I’m not sure what sort of conversation transpired that resulted in Dandette not going after all. All I know is he’d better not goddamned bitch later that we weren’t there for him.
*There was this, and also my ex-husband apparently went through some huge life crisis when we were together (I can’t remember the details, this was like 15 years ago) and felt horribly betrayed that I didn’t do enough to support him through it. He threw this up in my face numerous times over the course of the marriage and cited it as one reason he ultimately wanted us to separate. The thing is, he told me about this crisis in a really understated way. He didn’t say “Holy shit I’m having a crisis about X and it’s freaking me the fuck out,” it was more like “I’ve been thinking a lot about X lately. I just don’t know what to do,” all casual and low-key n shit. And I was like “Oh, that sucks” and he never mentioned it again so meh. But apparently I was supposed to follow up more.