It always bothered me when I’d see unicorn-hunting couples seeking a woman (it’s always a woman) to “complete their relationship.” I feel like a person’s relationship should feel complete all on its own or else it might not be that great of a relationship in the first place. I mean of course one person probably won’t have identical interests to yours, but is that what couples mean when they talk about someone “completing” them? Is it like, “I want someone to go to horror moves with because he won’t and he wants someone to watch sports with because I won’t”? TBH I never see unicorn-seeking ads mention anything about personality or interests so I suspect all that’s being “completed” is the both people’s interest in having a woman to fuck. BUT ANYWAY.
Personally, I never had any interest in being part of a triad or V. It seemed too complicated; too enmeshed. But now here I am. And Dandette keeps saying things indicating that my presence here makes things better. Maybe I “complete” them.*
From what I can tell, the cleaning of the kitchen has been a bone of contention with the two of them; seems like neither of them wants to do it and there’s frequently a standoff of sorts. Now that I’ve volunteered to be the official kitchen cleaner, everyone’s happy.
Dandette loves taking care of people and has housewifely aspirations (not kidding), but what makes it fulfilling for her is praise. The Dandy doesn’t give her that very much; maybe he’s used to her cooking. For me it’s an amazing novelty. Dandette does fancy shit, yo! She feeds us herb-crusted salmon and quinoa salad and stuffed chicken breasts n shit. Every single motherfucking evening I’m just gobsmacked by my good fortune, and I gush to Dandette about her awesome food, and she glows. 😀
Dandette and I are on an I-love-you basis now. The other day she said it to the room in general (in which The Dandy and I were both present) and I said it back and she was like “Seeeee?!? Cowgirl says it back!” so I guess that’s another thing she’d been needing.
I’m enjoying the effusive verbal affection from Dandette, too. And, obviously, the food. And she’s better at helping me with my anxiety than The Dandy is (although – and I’ve made this very plain to him – I intend to teach him as much as I can. Dandette’s presence is not a get-out-of-emotional-labour-free card for him!). I intend to help Dandette with hers, too (she’s been on a really even keel lately though so I haven’t had to).
The Dandy has in many ways been sheltered from the realities of life. His parents made good money; he went to a private school and then university and they paid for all of it; now he makes almost six figures. He recently bought himself a pair of $700 shoes online and it wasn’t even a big deal to him (this on top of paying for an $1,800 apartment and buying food for three people and two animals and, I’m pretty sure, eating lunch in restaurants every single weekday), but anytime I refer to him as “rich” or imply that he’s doing well for himself, he laughs and shakes his head – dude is not grounded in reality. Dandette and I both help ground him.
The Dandy is dominant and a sadist. So am I, so he and I can’t really play together. But Dandette is a submissive masochist.
So…maybe we complete each other. I’m still a little squicked by that terminology but at the same time I like feeling as though I have a place here; that there’s a reason I fit in. I like this living arrangement so far and I want it to succeed.
*Also, though, I was the one who pushed The Dandy to reunite with her, and I think she knows that. So I’d imagine she likes me a lot for that reason…