Dandette and I have been getting along lately. Maybe it’s that her anxiety meds have kicked in so she’s not panicking about me taking The Dandy’s attention away from her. Certainly the meds are doing their job of removing the generalized anxiety, so she’s a lot more at ease and social and as a result we’ve been getting to know each other. And in some ways we’re a lot alike (though I already knew that.)

A few visits ago, The Dandy displeased her in some way and she said “you’re fired!” and then we BOTH added in unison, “out of a cannon, into the sun!” (Futurama reference.) The Dandy doesn’t watch Futurama so to him this must have been most alarming. 🙂 Dandette and I laughed our asses off.

And just recently I spent the night there and for the first time I actually took The Dandy up on his offer to stay and sleep in after he left for work – before this I always left along with him. Dandette and I hung out as I ate breakfast and she said “You should just give notice and stay with us until you find a place.”

I paused, cereal spoon halfway to my mouth. “You’d…be okay with that?”

“Yeah, totally. …I TOLD The Dandy to tell you.”

“Huh. He didn’t mention anything.”

I texted The Dandy later, telling him about this offer and asking him what he thought. I figured either Dandette was lying and hadn’t really brought it up to him before, or she did but he wasn’t into it so he didn’t tell me. But he texted back “I’d be okay with that.”

I said we should talk in person so I met up with him that evening. In person he STILL seemed okay with it (happy, even) and said that yeah, Dandette had put forth the idea a while back but he’d felt that she didn’t seem all that comfortable with me so he hadn’t passed it on. But now he felt that it seemed okay.

Here’s the best part: right off the bat he said “I figure I’ll get rid of my bed and we’ll put yours in, and at least two dressers can fit under that” (loft bed) “and I can clear out half of the walk-in closet for you.” I’d assumed I’d be squatting there and living out of a garbage bag full of clothes or something but he was actually willing to change his setup around to accommodate me!

I put forth an offer of rent: I said I can pay nothing in June (because I’m paying for my own place still) but July is covered by my last month’s rent deposit, so as of that time (if I didn’t have my own place yet) I think it’s reasonable that I pay $300 if I’m still kinda squatting/camping there or $450 if I’m actually LIVING there, like with all my stuff and everything. ($450 is one-quarter of the rent there. Dandette has her own room and I’ll be sharing The Dandy’s. So.)

The Dandy enthusiastically agreed to this, perhaps just thrilled to death that I was paying my own way at all (he’s entirely supporting Dandette, remember).

He also reminded me that his building has HUGE kickass penthouses – three big bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, in-suite laundry, dishwasher – and said maybe if we all kept getting along okay we could put ourselves on the waiting list for one of those.

And I couldn’t help thinking: my third of the rent on a penthouse would be the same as the rent for a smallish bachelor apartment, but I’d have access to laundry and a dishwasher and SO much more space. Hell, even if Dandette and I irritated each other, my bedroom alone would be the size of whatever bachelor I could afford (if not bigger) and I’d still have my own bathroom. I could basically treat my bedroom as its own self-contained unit (except no kitchen). And the building is really soundproof – concrete flooors and ceilings, concrete walls between the units – so I’d basically never have to deal with neighbour noise ever, ever again…

More later.


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2 responses to “Refuge(?)

  1. Brian

    Sounds like a potentially great deal, as long as the Dandette stays on her meds. Still, could be a win for everybody!

    • Well, and sometimes meds stop working and we can’t necessarily attribute all her issues to mental illness, anyway…even neurotypicals get jealous or insecure sometimes.

      But whatever. We’re getting along okay and I need a place to live so this is my life now.

      The Dandy has put us on the waiting list for a bigger place in the same building so I can get my own room (which solves my biggest misgiving about this arrangement). I’m going to make this work one way or another.

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