Asserting myself

With previous partners I’ve been hesitant sometimes to ask for things I needed because I hated making myself vulnerable like that and/or I was afraid the other person wouldn’t do what I asked for and then I’d have to re-evaluate the whole relationship. With The Dandy I pledged to myself that I wouldn’t do that. It’s still hard sometimes, though. So many people have disappointed me in the past.

The Dandy came over recently, after I’d barely heard from him for a week. I am a person who needs pretty frequent contact with a partner when he’s not around – it just gives me a sense of continuity. Silence between visits makes me feel like the relationship ceases to exist when dude isn’t around. I want something every day or two, even if it’s just a texted “<3” so I know he’s thinking of me.

TBH The Dandy’s silence and uncharacteristically long hiatus between visits made me wonder if maybe something was up with him – but when I saw him, he seemed normal and in fact told me (unprovoked) that it had been way too long since he’d seen me. I asked what was up with that and he cited the funeral he recently attended, plus getting sick a few days before. I took that opportunity to tell him that I prefer more contact than I’d been getting, if possible. I guess I mentioned texting a few times because he said that texting is sort of new to him. For the longest time, the only phone he had with texting capability was provided by his work, and he didn’t want any personal messages on that. Now he has a phone that can text but it’s just not a habit he ever got into. He says he prefers phone calls. I told him that although I’m not usually a “phone person” and might not initiate calls, I would happily accept calls from him.

But yeah…good talk. I have some insight into him, now. And I think he’s upped his texting frequency since then.

Speaking of The Dandy noticing what I like and doing it, a while back when he was over I mentioned that I’m a sucker for having my head petted while I fall asleep. That night he spooned up behind me and we began to drift off and I guess he must have suddenly remembered what I said because he abruptly began stroking my hair/head and didn’t stop until I was almost all the way asleep.

He has a good track record of demonstrating that he wants to do the things I like, which is how I had the nerve to tell him to text me more.

On a whole other note, my solar plexus feels bruised and I’m 99% sure it’s from the handle-end of the Hitachi pounding into my chest as I did a cowgirl-style vibrator sandwich with The Dandy on Saturday. Ow.

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