Derp

So, as I talked about here, I’ve started making a list of evidence supporting the idea that I am not crazy/oversensitive/a drama queen. Midway through, I suddenly realized: when several different people minimized my feelings and experiences in similar ways, completely independent of each other, I assumed they must be right about me being oversensitive – but they were probably all just gaslighting me! For some reason that possibility hadn’t occurred to me; I was stuck on the idea of “well if multiple people agree on this then there’s probably a reason.” Turns out I was right but the reason is that I know a lot of shitty people.

Looking at my list, most of the incidents of people brushing off my concerns came from my mom and dentists. My mom suffered from depression that sapped a lot of her energy so of course she would always tell me “it’s not that bad, just go to school” when I told her I needed to stay home sick – she just didn’t want to cope with taking care of me when she could barely take care of herself. And she wouldn’t want to openly admit that my father was abusive toward us because that would seem to necessitate her doing something about it, which she wasn’t ready to do, so instead it was always “Oh it’s fine, your father’s just grumpy today, no big deal.” As for the dentists, no medical professional is ever gonna admit they fucked up because they might get sued or something. So they gloss over shit like it’s no big deal.

Everyone else on the list also stood to gain a big advantage by gaslighting me.

HUZZAH. My feelings are in fact valid.

 

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