In my previous post I said I’ve become super bitter and angry and will dismiss a guy I was potentially interested in at the slightest offense. Just for fun, here’s what it’s like to be inside my head as I browse Fetlife profiles of guys who initially seemed okay (and who I might have given a chance at one time).
One or more of his profile pics depicts the stereotype of a dominant woman (thin, white, long hair, high heels and a whip, blah blah blah): NOPE. NEXT!
His fetish list has anything about wanting to see a woman in lingerie or heels: NO. FUCK OFF.
His fetish list is mostly (or all) sex acts: UGH NO.
“I want to serve a dominant woman” without specifying how (spoilers: these are always the guys whose fetish lists are mostly sex acts): GTFO.
“I want to serve a dominant woman…by letting her ‘use’ me sexually”: PLZ LEARN WHAT “SERVICE” IS AND THEN JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE.
“I’m looking for a beautiful dominant woman to -” NO FUCK OFF.
Calling women “females”: DIE IN A FIRE YOU FUCKING FERENGI.
Saying anything about women being superior: NOPE NOPE NOPE.
Saying that he needs a dominant woman or needs someone to fulfill his fetishes: ALL ABOARD THE EXPRESS TRAIN TO FUCKOFFVILLE.
Beseeching women to “teach” him or “help” him: RANDOM WOMEN ARE NOT YOUR MOMMY. OFFER SOMETHING IN RETURN OR STFU.
Using the word “subby”: NO.
Using the word “mistress”: UGH NO.
Using the word “dominatrix”: UGGGGH JUST SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO WATCHING YOUR PORN ALREADY.
Being titillated by how dirty and naughty his kinks are: NOOOOOOOPE.
Foot fetishist: MEH.
Obsessed with giving oral: HARD PASS.
“I won’t go to kink events/the fact that I’m kinky has to be sooooper sekrit” – NOOOOPE.
“I’m actually submissive but I list myself as a switch because women seem to only want dominant men”: WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY PRIORITIZES GETTING HIS DICK WET AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE OVER HAVING A FULFILLING INTERACTION WITH SOMEONE?
Like I said, I might have tried to look past these things at one point. “Oh, he’s probably well-meaning but just doesn’t realize the connotations of that word.” “He’s clearly a bit conflicted about submission but maybe positive re-enforcement will get rid of that” “Okay, most guys with a fetish for feet or oral refuse to follow instructions and just wanna touch me whatever way turns them on, but maybe this guy will be different!” “Okay, most guys who say they wanna ‘serve’ a woman actually just mean ‘I want to lie there passively while you do things to my dick'” but maybe this guy will be different!” But right now I do not have the patience. I just don’t. Fuck it.