There’s a guy I see from time to time. Super casual; we both have several partners who are more important than each other. But he’s pretty fun.
The other night I dreamed that I was pegging him, and woke up with urgent Hitachi Magic Wand-related business to take care of. Later on I texted him and told him I’d had this dream. To my surprise (he travels a lot and I didn’t think he was in the country right now) he’d like to hang out and maybe make my pegging dream a reality. He suggested sometime the week after Christmas or “tomorrow” (which is today). I picked today because I was fairly sure he’d end up disappointing me one way or another and I preferred to get that over with without a bunch of buildup first.
He said he’d come over “around 2 or 3pm” because he had stuff to do in the morning. Usually this kind of squishy, shifty plan drives me nuts, but he did give a pretty small and concrete window (not just “I have stuff to do and I’ll come over whenever I’m done” but a one-hour time span during which he might arrive). And I was planning on hanging out at home today anyway so he wouldn’t be keeping me from anything. I said okay.
So fine, the fact that I accepted a nebulous plan was on me. I accept that. However, when one is not able to keep a plan, one lets the other person know. Even The Pedant, who is in many ways a colossal idiot with time management – usually did me the courtesy of sending “whoops sorry running late I need another hour” texts. Whereas today’s dude…didn’t. At ten to three I texted him asking when he figured he’d get here (thinking maybe he was on his way and just hadn’t thought to say so, and I wanted to be showered and dressed by the time he arrived). I heard nothing from him whatsoever until five o’clock when he said his “day had gotten away from him” and he’d have to reschedule. No shit.
Dude hasn’t offered me a new get-together time but if he does I think I just won’t even respond. Fuck this.
I also recently typed a rather long text diatribe to Mine re: the way he’s been making halfassed/tentative plans with me and then not confirming them even when I ask repeatedly. Plus doing that weird thing The Pedant always did of being like “sorry, I’ve just been sooooo busy” and rattling off a detailed recounting of his work schedule as if I’d called him a liar. I told him I don’t actually give a fuck what he’s doing that makes him so busy. I barely give a fuck that he’s not able to see me – I mean it sucks but I won’t die or anything – it’s the constant chasing him around that’s making me insane. He’ll tell me he might be able to come over on a certain day but he won’t know for sure til some particular time, and then the time passes without him telling me if it’s a yes or no and I have to prompt him six times and just…like…why the fuck am I doing all this work? Why is it so fucking hard for him to just follow up with me when he says he will so I’m not sitting here reserving a day for him for possibly no reason?
What none of the guys I’m seeing seems to comprehend is that I have a busy life, too. More flexible than theirs, maybe, but I still always, always have stuff I should be doing or someone else I could be hanging out with. I’m not just fucking sitting around staring at the ceiling all day, every day, wishing someone would come over – when I reserve a day for someone it means I’m shifting all the other things I want to be doing in order to make room. And then half the time they can’t make it over and it’s like…fuck, I could have planned to do other things instead. Productive things. Sometimes (though not often anymore since I’ve realized that everyone I’m seeing is a flaky fucking idiot) I’ve even turned down modelling gigs because I believed a partner was coming over that day.
Mine has apologized and said he’d try not to be so vague about plans anymore. So that’s something.
But I’m just generally super irritated right now.