Date was fine. Dude was cute-ish, made decent conversation (expressed interest in me via asking me things).
I don’t think we’re compatible, though. His first message to me was asking me if I’m seeking a submissive right now (which implies he’s looking for a relationship, right? Or am I crazy?), but when we were face-to-face he said he really only wanted casual kinky play, nothing too serious. And he’s not a masochist at all, and the stuff he is interested in is all pretty directly sexual and I already have people for that – people who also let me hit ’em too.
Also he had a fairly annoying amount of entitlement. Via text he’d told me that he’s been to some kink events and I thought that was pretty cool because so many dudes won’t go to events because they feel too conflicted about their kinks (“I can’t let other humans see me at a kink event! They’ll know I’m kinky!!!!”) or whine that they’re too shy to possibly go to anything ever. But when I asked him more about that tonight he sulkily said that yeah, he’d been to a couple of munches, but they hadn’t worked. I said “worked?” and he clarified: “I didn’t end up meeting anyone to play with.” And whined that there were too many other men at the things he’d gone to. Munches, if you don’t know, are social events that are explicitly marketed as not for picking people up. They’re just places where you can talk to like-minded people and maybe make friends (and I’m sure some people do meet partners there, and that’s fine, but the point is you’re not supposed to go there and eye everyone up like a piece of meat and be all focused on whose pants you can get into).
A little later in the conversation he asked if I had any interest in playing with him sometime and I said maybe (he hadn’t irritated me to capacity yet at that point), but I wasn’t sure yet and would like to develop more of a rapport. I asked if he’d come to an upcoming munch with me – one that always starts off with a little presentation/discussion, which I love because I love talking about the philosophy of kink and the discussion acts as an icebreaker after during the “free period” where we all just hang out and talk to each other. He was like “Ugggh, I dunno. There’s all that talking.”
So although he didn’t come off as especially pushy toward me when we met, he absolutely seemed to feel that absolutely any activity not guaranteed to end in naked kinky stuff was a waste of time, and that’s not gonna fly with me. Plus I feel misled about what he wanted. Plus although his (latest) claim is that he’s submissive but only in bed, I get a pretty strong vibe that he would not actually submit so much as want me to tell him to do things he already wanted to do.
Doesn’t seem like this is going anywhere. 😛