I was gonna take a breather from new guys for a while but one plunked into my Fetlife inbox of his own accord and he’s local and seems to have potential so curiosity has gotten the better of me.

We’ve been texting and this just happened:

Him: What other kinky fantasies do you have, miss? [This makes it sound like we’d been sexting but really it was a fairly clinical discussion of kinks to try to establish compatibility] Also what do you like to be called?

Me: My name. 🙂

Him: Fair. I just meant like if you had a kinky title.

Me: I’ve never had a title that struck my fancy. I made one guy call me Beautyprincess but that was more to make fun of the convention of kink titles, and to see how far he’d go. Making him call me something over-the-top silly with a straight face amused me.

Him: I meant like miss or mistress or like that.

Me: Yes, I know what you mean by “title.” That is what I’ve been responding to you about.

Him: Oops sorry.

Me: Maybe you were really hoping I was misunderstanding you because you wanted to start calling me something, but there is nothing I want to be called by right now except my name and you’ll have to live with that.

Him: Lol I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

Me: Have I been unclear in some way by saying there’s no title that strikes my fancy?

Him: I just didn’t know if you meant the classic miss or mistress sort of thing. Apologies, Cowgirl. Won’t happen again. 🙂

Me: Thank you. And on that note, I should start winding down for sleep.

He apologized, called me by my name as requested, and indicated that he wouldn’t slip up again, so I’m not bailing on him yet. But that conversation was really starting to piss me off. Like I kept saying there is no title I want to be called and it’s like he was doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to convince himself that I must just not be understanding his question and surely I secretly longed to be called “miss” or “mistress.”

There have been other small red flags that he doesn’t pay attention so well and is a bit overly kink focused, too. So I’m starting to sour on this one a little bit. But I’m not quite ready to give up yet.


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4 responses to “Cranky

  1. play

    Meh, also reads condescending as hell.

  2. Brian

    Really aching to be a sub, isn’t he? It’s like he’s trying too hard.

    • I would characterize him as not trying hard enough, actually. If he potentially wants to submit to me, he should be being alert to what I want and gauging whether he’d be okay with giving it to me – not trying to push his own agenda.

      Or, wait – did you mean “trying to impress me” or “trying to get his kinks indulged”?

      • Brian

        Fair question and to be honest, I’m not sure. He WAS doing a poor job of submitting. Maybe he’s not really sure of what he wants? Hell, I know I’m not sure!

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