Sigh.

Aired some of my grievances with The Pedant. Mostly via text message, because when he briefly came by last night to pay me back the money he owed me, I found myself completely unable to organize my thoughts coherently.

He was understanding when I told him that I felt taken for granted – that the phrase “I’m gonna need to crash at your place on [night] because I have a late shift and then an early shift and I need a place to sleep” implies both that he’s staying here only for the convenience, and that my place will automatically be open to him, like a hotel. He said he didn’t mean it that way and that he was staying here partly for my company. So that’s cool.

Subsequent things I told him…he did not reply to at all. Probably just processing but of course AssholeBrain is making me consider the possibility that he’s in the process of deciding that I’m too much of a pain in the ass and he hates me.

I know that emotion-talk stymies him and he needs a lot of time to parse shit out and try to understand, so I don’t wanna bug him right now. But goddamn could I ever use some reassurance. I did text him asking if he’d like to come over Wednesday night (which he offered to do, last night when I saw him, but at the time I thought I was working). He’s read that. But has not replied. And it’s making me crazy.

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