My subconscious likes to sing song lyrics to me that are relevant to whatever’s going on in my life. I mean lyrics from existing songs, not lyrics it makes up.

This small tumult with The Pedant has conjured up the song Make Me Stay by Ani DiFranco. Mostly the part where she says “I can’t always wait for your circumstance to improve/love is loose/it shifts each time you move” because I suspect The Pedant thinks of love as a switch that gets flipped on and that’s it – it’s just on and steady and self-sustaining. Whereas for me and I think most other people, love is very much dependent on how your loved one is treating you. Love can feel constant but only if the good treatment that inspires love is more-or-less constant. I fell in love with The Pedant when he was being really sweet and attentive toward me, but lately he hasn’t really been those things and so I haven’t really felt in love with him.

The song also seems to have a theme of wanting an undemonstrative guy to do something dramatic for a change to prove that he cares, and yeah…I do crave that. Although it also depicts the guy as actually being somewhat dramatic (running after her, saying he’d die if she left) and that’s where the parallels end.

Anyway it’s a good song. Listen!

Just the lyrics, if you don’t want to be opening a link to YouTube right now:

I’m going to turn and walk away
You wait ’til I am far along
Then run and come and catch my arm
And say you’d die if I were gone

I want to hear you call my name
It’s too easy just to say it soft
I don’t like my language watered down
I don’t like my edges rounded off

I can’t always wait for your circumstance to improve
Love is loose it shifts each time you move
Go ahead, put my back against the wall
Give it all up or don’t give it to me at all

You never know this could be our last night
So step back, step back into the light
So I can see your silhouette
I’m not done looking yet

Safe the profile for the camera
Give me your eye to eye
I know all your secrets
And you know all of mine

Mostly I don’t go
For the soft focus and the fantasy
I need something real
I can think and say and see so

I’m going to turn and walk away
You wait til I am far along
Then run and come
And catch my arm and say you’d die

If I were gone
Yes, I’m going to turn
And walk away
You can watch me go or make me stay




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