Mine came over yesterday and left at like 1am when I was about to fall asleep.
I’d fully expected to do some hardcore sadistic shit to him, but…I dunno. I don’t think I’m as attracted to him as I used to be, and my sadism is usually tied to my lust. Or maybe it’s mostly that I was still feeling so stressed about The Veteran and all of that. I kept trying to make out with him but then bursting into another rant or angst-soliloquy about shit going on in my life. Mine started petting me and eventually my torrent of words slowed down and I just relaxed into his arms. I still wasn’t feeling sexual or violent, but at least I was less wound up.
We got to talking about what a size queen Mine is, and how he genuinely wants to one day be able to stuff the enormous toy he once bought inside him (this thing is probably the length and thickness of my arm from shoulder to elbow. HUGE), but it would require a lot of working up to. I told him I’d been on the lookout for dicks that are bigger than my biggest but smaller than the huge toy, for exactly that reason. And then I was like “Oh, but that’s dumb because I could just use my hand.”
And then we decided that we would go into the bedroom and I’d see if I could get my entire hand inside him. Except once we stripped naked and got on the bed, he ended up surprise-jumping me with cunnilingus instead. Maybe he meant it as foreplay, but we got sidetracked and ended up doing only that for I don’t know how long. And that was all we did. He went down on me for, like, ever; I got really close to orgasm but not quite; I relieved my tension with the Hitachi; we took a nap and then he offered to take me out for sushi. I never even got him off in return. I decided to deliberately not even offer, to see if he said anything. He didn’t. He’s always been adamant that he genuinely wants me to do the things I want with him, not what I think he wants, so in theory the one-sidedness of it all should have fed his submission. But I don’t know.
The oral, though…goddamn. Mine has very, very good stamina, takes direction well, and goddamned listens to me about what I need in order to orgasm. When I needed to put my legs out straight instead of having them draped over his arms, he let me. When I would say “yes, please keep doing exactly what you’re doing,” he did. When I’d ask for more pressure or some other little adjustment, he’d do that.
And in this unpressured environment with an attentive, high-stamina partner, I actually learned some really important things that might help me with other partners.
At first, direct licking of the tip of my clit hurt me. I asked Mine to please stay a bit above. But after a long while of that, something seemed kind of…lacking, so I asked him to very gently try direct contact. He did, and it felt amazing. So I guess I just needed to be warmed up. Then I got him to put a finger inside me at the same time, which lit my nerve endings up even more.
When I was on the verge of coming but couldn’t quite get over the edge, I kept pushing his face into me harder but it didn’t give me what I needed. I realized later that the way I normally get off, the heavy vibration of Hitachi carries right through to the tip of my clit, and that sensation at the tip contributes to my orgasm, but I’m also holding the Hitachi midway up the shaft so I’m used to pressure there as well as the tip getting stimulated. So my body didn’t quite know what to do without the pressure.
So, I’m going to try to alter my masturbatory habits. Wield the Hitachi more lightly and/or put a jelly sleeve on it. If I can train myself out of needing pressure on my clit, I think I could get off via oral again. With Mine, anyway, who can keep a steady rhythm for at least twenty minutes without faltering or complaining.
After I’d gotten off but before we fell asleep, I asked him to explain to me exactly what he was doing with his mouth, because to me it just felt like undifferentiated awesome. I made a fist with my middle finger sticking out just slightly from the rest and held it in front of his face. “Okay, so pretend this is my clit – does that visual make sense?”
“Show me what you were doing near the end there.”
“At first I mostly stayed up above, but once you were warmed up a bit I was doing soft licks up from underneath,” he said, and drew his flattened tongue up the tip of my protruding knuckle a few times by way of demonstration.
After napping and sushi we snuggled and watched Netflix and sometime during that time I was like “Oh hey by the way would you say I was pitching a tent during any of the oral?”
“Hmmm. I don’t think so. It maybe got a little bit bigger, but not really.”
I’m fairly sure if I’d asked The Pedant that question, he would not have noticed – and maybe not even known what I was talking about at all. It was a relief to be around someone who noticed my body and let it do what it wanted to do.
After Mine left I fell asleep so deeply that it took a few seconds for the alarm to wake me up for work. I use the alarm on my phone, and I set it to a sound that starts off as very soft, gentle music that gets steadily louder and then eventually an annoying MEEP MEEP MEEP begins to surface. Usually my eyes fly open at the first note of music but this time I didn’t wake up until the meeps were fast approaching. I wish to hell I hadn’t had to get up. 😛