Are you fucking kidding me?

Woke up to a text from The Pedant. I assumed it was going to be along the lines of “I’ll arrive later than expected tonight because…” because it always is.

Instead, he said that he woke up at 1am this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep, and as he surfed the web waiting to be tired again, he found out there’s a band he really likes playing at a club downtown tonight. So the terrible irony is: “Because I didn’t sleep enough, by the time I’m off work I’m going to be too wiped to go to a show that I only found out about because I didn’t sleep enough.”

I texted back “…There’s also the fact that you already had plans… O.o”

Seriously. He agreed to see me only grudgingly because he had soooooo much to get done and he’d have to be home by the next morning at the very latest and even that was “going to cost him” – but he would have happily gone to a show that would have probably gone late enough to make him sleep in past the time he allegedly needed to be home and doing things. And he complains to me about how he can’t go to this thing. It’s unclear whether he forgot he was slated to come over (which would be unlike him), was about to add “By the way I’m too wrecked to come over to your place after work, too” but forgot, or if he’s just incredibly clueless and stupid.

Oh wait, he just responded: “If I’d gotten enough sleep and paid more attention to my news feed I could have invited you out to the show. :P”

I reminded him that I work first thing in the morning.

I’d be willing to bet that if it weren’t for him being all sleep deprived and shit, he’d be ducking out of my place for a few hours to go to this thing. Like maybe not even asking me if that would be okay, but just assuming he could use my place as a home base.

…Okay, I stepped away and brooded for a while and realized that The Pedant probably doesn’t fully understand why I was so insistent on his presence, and that this would probably make a difference in how casually he would propose alternate plans etc.

We had been talking a bit more about the prospect of me coming out with The Pedant (if only he were rested enough). He said that this particular venue usually ends its shows by 1am and since I didn’t have to work til 10am, it might still be feasible for me (from a sleep perspective). I said not really because being in crowded noisy places makes me all wired for hours after, plus I’d have to wake up at 8am, so we’re still looking at way too little sleep.

After taking time to think about things and realizing where we may have miscommunicated, I made a point of adding, “Also I’m not at my best, anyway. When I said I was “touch deprived” it wasn’t a euphemism for horny (although I WILL be fucking you, make no mistake). It means I have a level of stress built up that only being snuggled and petted (or maybe massaged) can dissipate in any meaningful way. I’ve been taking every measure I can to help myself out of this but honestly, nothing works as well or as immediately as someone I feel safe with lightly stroking my upper back for ten minutes. I really just need to be close to you for as long as possible and recharge my internal battery.”

“Ah, probably best if I just head straight to your place when I’m off at 6pm, then.”

“Yes, please.”

So…I think he understands the urgency of the situation more than he did before.

But this means that when I insisted that I really wanted to see him, I guess he didn’t realize what a state I was in – and agreed to see me anyway, despite allegedly having stuff to do. Even though I guess he just thought I was wanting to bang him.

So I’m feeling like a bit more of a priority to him than I did at the beginning of this entry.

Although I’m suspecting harder than ever that his “errands” are fictitious or at least exaggerated.

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