Soooo the recent Pedant visit was wonderful.
I was a little worried about him having residual anger at me because of that fight, but I took a chance anyway and yanked him in for a kiss as soon as I opened the door. He gave the little trademark gasp he always does when I’m rough with him, and kissed me back with enthusiasm.
He had said that he would want to take a shower as soon as he arrived (he came over straight from work) but once he got naked he just kinda stood there in my front hallway, uncertainly.
“It’s nice to see you,” he said.
“You too,” I replied. “And in my favourite outfit, too.” And then I got up from the couch, where I’d been watching him undress, and walked over and started caressing and kissing him. His responses escalated quickly and he smelled and tasted fine to me so I murmured “Sex first. Shower later” and nudged him into the bedroom.
I had him go down on me, and cautiously told him he could try licking my clit directly (vs through the hood) if he was gentle. In the past I’ve been way too sensitive for that, but my body seems to be changing lately. His licking felt pretty good – didn’t hurt, didn’t make me wanna curl into a ball and die. Sometimes it even got pretty intense (in a good way). But eventually I asked him to stop.
“Do you think you could ever come from that, with practice?” he asked.
“I think so. Maybe,” I said. In retrospect I wish I’d added “…if you practice, too, and build your stamina” because I need a level of consistency that I do not think he can provide at the moment. I told him that I was surprised at how good the direct stimulation felt, because once upon a time I’d been way too sensitive for that. He said maybe it works with him because I trust him more than I trusted other people. His hubris there was amusing (it seems like a weird connection to make, plus I don’t trust him more than I trusted other partners – not sexually. He has a track record of ignoring instructions, and he’s getting better but I’m still cautious with him). I simply said “I don’t think that’s it. I mean even I couldn’t touch the tip of my clit until recently. My actual body seems to be changing.”
His mouth had gotten me a good part of the way to orgasm and I wanted to continue in that direction. I also wanted to get fucked. So I had The Pedant make a missionary position Hitachi sandwich with me. And it felt amazing, but I couldn’t quite let go enough to come.
And then – speaking of me not quite trusting him sexually – The Pedant was all “I want you to come first. You can use that toy on me, if you want…the couples’ toy…” he meant my Realdoe double dildo. Which I’ve never said gets me off. I think he was somehow assuming that the g-spot stimulation of it wiggling inside me during pegging would be enough to do the job. He would be basing this on absolutely nothing about me, though. I’ve told him many times that penetration alone doesn’t get me there. I’ve even told him once that the Realdoe isn’t quite shaped right to stimulate my clit.
But the novelty of him agreeing to be pegged with a slightly bigger toy than before – and one that looks like an actual penis – was too good to pass up. And maybe I could lie back and incorporate my Hitachi on my clit as he rode me, or something…I’d have to work out the logistics.
I inserted “my” end and started lubing “his” end. “You can take me from behind if you want,” The Pedant said, all breathy and turned on, and that was a novelty, too. I’d kind of assumed that position would seem too…impersonal or demeaning or something, to him. There’s no way in the world I could come from doggie style pegging with the Realdoe, but I wanted to peg him that way, anyway.
The Pedant has absurdly long legs, and of course I’m working with a dick that has no nerve endings, so finding the right angle to get inside him was…a bit of a trial. We ended up with him ass-up right next to the edge of the bed and me standing on the floor in an extra-wide stance. I’m shocked at how easy it was to thrust in and out of him; usually I can’t use the Realdoe (or any similar toy) on a guy unless my legs are together for stability; otherwise the suction of his ass yanks it out of me. And The Pedant is tight. Yet somehow I managed to fuck him pretty soundly with my legs apart. Either The Pedant was really relaxed or my vaginismus (or whatever it is) is getting worse, or both.
The Pedant moaned the entire time I fucked him, even if I wasn’t actively touching his cock or nipples. Perhaps facing away from me allowed him to feel less inhibited in his reactions. I’m so curious to know what it felt like for him…he used to tell me ass play did nothing for him, then said he liked a finger inside him but just pressing on the upper wall without moving; and now here he was making pleasure-sounds as I held his hips and slowly but firmly slid my cock in and out of him.
After a little while the bulb-end of the toy – the part in my vag – started to feel kind of dry and ouchy, and I knew that lubing it would make it impossible to keep ass-fucking The Pedant, so I carefully pulled it out of me while leaving the other end inserted in his ass. Then I used the bulb as a handle of sorts for a while, which was nice as it allowed me to kneel behind him, reach through his legs, and stroke his cock at the same time. I was finding it really hard to give him a reach-around while I pegged him.
Finally, though, I decided I wanted to get fucked some more. I gently pulled the Realdoe out of The Pedant, pushed him over onto his back, and began to ride while thumbing his nipples. “Did you come during any of that?” The Pedant asked.
“No,” I said, carefully stifling my amazement that he would even ask that (my orgasms! Are not! Subtle!).
“If you want to come first, you’d probably better not keep going with this for much longer.”
I smiled, nodded, dismounted, and handed him my favourite dildo. He fucked me with that while I Hitachi’d myself to a resoundingly awesome orgasm.
“Did you get what you needed?” The Pedant murmured.
“…Yeah…” I said, once I could form words. “And also kind of an urge to kill you.” I struggled upright and swung my leg over The Pedant.
“You resent me giving you an orgasm?” The Pedant asked.
My surge of post-orgasm violence rampaged through me madly, made my body shake. I put my fist against The Pedant’s chest and leaned on it, gritting my teeth, waiting for the furor to pass. “No,” I said. “I want to use you up so there’s nothing left. But if I did that I couldn’t fuck you anymore, so…”
The Pedant chuckled softly. He surely saw that I was literally vibrating with the urge to punch or choke him, yet he wasn’t afraid of me. He’s the first non-masochist I’ve ever fucked who’s seen this side of me and didn’t fear it. I can’t tell you what a relief that is.
I put his cock inside me and rode. The Pedant has indicated to me before that he gets off exceptionally hard when stimulated right through to the end, although he reflexively stops me before that point usually. He’s also told me that he likes being tied down during sex because it forces him to endure the full intensity of what’s happening without flinching away as he would normally do. And so I decided it was probably safe to experiment with ignoring his “no” just a little bit. When he began to come I thrust slow and steady; when he predictably started whimpering a bit and put his hands on my hips to still them, I said “No. We finish when I say we’re finished.” And I kept thrusting until suddenly he shuddered again and his face kind of convulsed, briefly, in a soundless sob. “now we’re done,” I said, collapsing on top of him and kissing him.
After a brief nap we went out to a nightclub event that The Pedant was interested in. I’ve been to this thing before a couple of times and I’ve always hated it, but it was just up the street from my house and I like that The Pedant has been inviting me out to places where his friends hang out. For a long time he never did that and I kinda felt like a dirty little secret.
Against all odds, that night the music selection suited my tastes much better than before and I actually danced a lot. So that was great. Especially since The Pedant is a huge social butterfly and also always forgets to introduce me to people, so staying glued to his side would just have been awkward – I’d’ve been just silently watching him talk to other people all night.
I did come up next to him from time to time, and vice versa. I also saw some people I knew, and made chit-chat with them. I often worry about smothering The Pedant with my social anxiety but that night I feel I held my own just fine.
However, I did run out of energy for dealing with people after an hour or two. I told The Pedant that I’d probably want to go home soon. I added “Just text me when you’re done” (he’d forgotten his copy of my keys). He seemed startled; perhaps he expected that I’d make him leave when I did. Meh, maybe normal etiquette dictates that we arrived as a unit and therefore should leave as one, but he’s more into socializing than I am and I’m always wired for a while after clubbing and want some peace and quiet to decompress, so it works out.
When I did leave, he said he’d be another hour or so. I thought “Yeah, we’ll see” because he’s terrible for losing track of time. And sure enough, he actually texted me three hours later to tell me he was on his way back, which is even worse than I expected.
I wish he’d remembered his keys to my place. I wasn’t angry that he stayed out, but I was kinda pissed that I was asleep when he texted. I’d spent about two hours having a bath and puttering around watching Netflix, and it was awesome, but then I unexpectedly got sleepy. I’m plagued by ridiculous insomnia and when I manage to get to sleep I don’t like to be woken up.
In response to The Pedant’s “I’m walking back now” text, I was like “You do know you’ve been gone three hours, not one?” He said he’d lost track of time and blah blah blah. I said “Just know that if I’d slept through your text(s), that’s on you. I was vigilant for that hour and then some, but then said fuck it.” He said he understood. So that removes a lot of pressure from me; that night and in previous similar situations I felt obligated to check my phone constantly so as not to irritate him by keeping him waiting whenever he finally showed up. Now maybe I won’t feel I have to do that.
Amazingly, I managed to fall back asleep fairly quickly – this time with The Pedant’s body all entwined with mine. Prawr. 🙂