Did I ever tell you I’m psychic? I’m serious. It manifests itself as me knowing when I’ve received an important or highly anticipated voicemail/text/email/snail mail.
This morning while I was three-quarters asleep the thought popped into my head: “The Pedant has replied.” To be honest I dismissed this thought because it wasn’t accompanied by the usual ripple of stomach butterflies that I get when I have a message about some fraught emotional thing.
But when I finally woke up an hour later, I checked my phone and he had indeed replied. About an hour before – right when my brain-notification had started blinking.
The last thing I’d said to him – and this was two days ago – was “Yo, Silent Boy. Everything okay?”
His response was “Not really, since you sent me an e-mail that would have taken me three or four days to process in a normal week, and this was an exceptionally busy week.” And then he addressed the chatty text I’d sent him about the custom clothes he recently ordered.
I said, “I’m beginning to realize that it takes you longer to process things than it does me. Unless you mean that you haven’t had time to read the email at all, in which case never mind.”
“I’ve already replied. 😛 And if it’s anything related to human emotions, then yes, it takes me a lot longer to sort through them.”
“Oh. Derp. A string of Facebook notifications pushed your reply down too low for me to see in the preview window of my phone. BRB.”
I read his email response. It said:
If you’re okay with me not actually having any understanding of what’s going on, fine, but you’ll have to accept my actions without the commentary as well – by which I mean, stop thanking me.
Frankly, even if a “thank you” from anyone wasn’t a nuisance to me, it still wouldn’t sit well with me when people thank me for doing something that I wasn’t actively doing.
To take your “heroes” analogy to its conclusion, the kind of people who get tagged as “heroes” typically don’t think there’s anything noteworthy about what they’re doing and consequently get annoyed with being thanked for it in a hurry.
I texted him: “I can’t get my head around ‘thank you’ being a nuisance but I’ll do my best to accommodate. If our places were reversed I’d feel like I’d hit the jackpot in finding someone who thought I was being amazing when I wasn’t even trying. :P”*
Him: “I’m sure you would.”
Me: “HEY. Only I can point out that I’m lazy. Not you. 😛 Tangent: when there’s an emotion-based email in the queue, do you have a hard time maintaining casual conversation with me in parallel?”
“Holy shit EVERYTHING makes sense now. Thank you for that. I will bear this in mind going forward.”
I have to say, after an initial moment of “WTF” over his whole thing of not wanting to be thanked, I think I’m kind of digging this. Because his implication seems to be that helping me is such an obvious response to my anxiety that it’s stupid to even make a big thing of it. I could get behind that.
* Actually, that is how I feel…