The Pedant is over for the weekend. Tonight a few people he knows were meeting up at a pub near my place and then heading to a club after. Initially when he brought it up he capped it with “so maybe you can do without me for a few hours,” which bugged me (despite my social anxiety making me not especially want to go to a loud group function) because I’d thought he was going to ask me to go with him. We’re so isolated in our relationship that I sometimes feel like a dirty little secret. Oddly, without me having said anything or really even registering disappointment on my face, he ended up inviting me along after all. Like not even concretely saying “actually, on second thought…” or anything; just being all “maybe you can do without me” and then talking some more about who-all would be at the thing and then saying “…so you’re welcome to come along” like that was a logical place for his sentence to end up. Weird.
I said I’d come to the pub but probably not to the nightclub part – he’d be on his own for that. The particular music the club would be playing is not anything I like, and I get burned out on socializing pretty quickly.
On our way to the pub I handed him my spare keys so that he could get back in after clubbing instead of having to text me to let him in.
“Are you lending me these or giving them to me permanently?” he asked.
“I’m good either way. I actually offered you the keys ages ago but you seemed hellbent on not answering me so I assumed the answer was no and I let the idea go.”
The Pedant mumbled something about how he feels awkward having the keys to someone else’s place…but then said he might indeed make a copy of them for himself at some point*, again without me having registered any particular feeling about it. Huh.
The pub outing was nice. I only knew two of the people present, but everyone was pretty pleasant and one of The Pedant’s friends whom I hadn’t met before was really awesome and I had a lot of fun talking to her.
And although I know The Pedant isn’t big on public displays of affection, I kinda wanted to test the waters a little bit…I mean he told me before that his friends all know we’re seeing each other but the paranoid asshole part of my brain wonders if this is true. So I didn’t do anything too showy but I did come up behind him and affectionate skritch his back at one point, and also when the topic of how deeply we all sleep came up I sorta made a point of mentioning that The Pedant is such a comatose sleeper that I have to pretty much punch him to get him to turn off his alarm. So yeah, kinda telegraphing that we’ve slept in the same bed. Nobody seemed surprised to hear this, which seems like a good sign.
When we parted company so he could go to the club with his people, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek (in front of them), which was lovely. I swear there have been times when we were around people he knew and he practically acted like he didn’t know me. But that would have been at a time when our relationship wasn’t as clearly defined, so maybe that’s why.
All in all, some promising developments.
*I’d originally had those particular keys made for Minx when she was moving in, and the key place had ones with patterns on them, so I did pink leopard print on one and hot rod flames on the other just to be cheeky. The Pedant is not flamboyant like that, hence wanting to make copies instead of just keeping those.