Also

Mine texted me last night:

“Hey, just a heads up. I’ve accepted a transfer to a closer store. I’m still on nights but I work Monday-Thursday (four 10 hour shifts) so I’ll have every Friday-Sunday off. I start around the end of April. It will be quite easier to see you after that.”

I said this was good to know and he said that seeing me more easily was a definite factor in him taking the job.

I’m…surprised.

The last time Mine was here, he spent the night. Then he took me out to breakfast, and while we ate he did tell me that he had some errands to run and wouldn’t be able to really hang out with me, but I didn’t think he meant that he would go immediately after breakfast. Like we got to talking about funny things on YouTube and I told him “Oh, there’s a thing I have to show you when we get home” and he didn’t contradict me. But then when we got to my front steps he was like “Okay, I’m going, bye.” Which felt weirdly as though he’d been planning on hanging with me a bit longer but then abruptly changed his mind for whatever reason. It was awkward.

Then a while after that he asked me if I was free for a visit on a particular weekend and I said yes except for a three-hour shift in the middle and we did some negotiating. But then I didn’t hear from him for ages – no confirmation or anything – and finally a few days before the visit would have happened I was like “Um so ARE you coming?” and he said “I was going to come over but I have strep throat.” Yeah I know I’m super sensitive and paranoid but that phrasing seemed a little blunt. Not enough softening language for my liking.

And so I had the feeling he’d changed his mind about me again and brushed me off. Plus our texts had been super irregular and meh for, I dunno, forever. Sometimes I’d try to make conversation with him but he never really responded. He’d only get in touch when he wanted to come over. Just a weird vibe there, overall.

So honestly, what with him barely ever acknowledging my existence and then cutting our last visit short and then bailing on our next plans without actually apologizing, I’d written him off.

And now this.

I kind of want to break it off with him; I’m feeling taken for granted and the sexytimes we had during our last visit didn’t quite click for me. But we used to be great together, and dammit, it seems like we should be able to be great together again. Even if we’re not in love anymore, and even if we don’t talk nearly as much anymore, you’d think we could find the sexual spark we used to have and be good, solid intermittent FWBs. But I dunno. It’s iffy.

Mine is arguably more mentally ill than I am, btw; he’s on antidepressants and he has bipolar disorder that he’s on mood stabilizers for. So I wonder whether his apparent change in personality is because one of his medications has begun to fail him. Or maybe he’s just putting up a wall emotionally because we can’t be in a D/s relationship anymore. I don’t know. Sucks, though.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s