Obligatory Pedant Visit Synopsis

So, last time The Pedant was here he arrived in the evening and took me out for sushi. He managed to be an hour later than he said he’d be again, without letting me know at all, and I was pretty pissed (not least because my blood sugar was crashing…don’t tell me you’re taking me for food and then be late. Almost-hypoglycemic girl is almost hypoglycemic and does not do well when hungry).

But when I arrived at the restaurant to meet him, he looked so fucking hot that I couldn’t hold a grudge. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart pants for goth boys and also for dudes with a sharp sense of style, and The Pedant was wearing a black leather trenchcoat, nicely-fitted black pants, big clompy lace-up boots with buckles up the sides, and a bowler hat. Ahhh goddamn he is so beautiful. I knew he had done a stupid thing by being late without giving me a heads-up but I couldn’t even keep a straight face at the moment, let alone a recriminatory one.

Once we’d finished eating, though, I asked him whether there was any way to improve the lateness factor or if this is one of those personality quirks that I have to either learn to live with or bail on the relationship over. He assured me that he really did try his best to leave in a timely fashion but seems to be going through a general phase of fucking things up. He said he’s had to take cabs to work several times that week because of this. And I felt somewhat mollified.

And then we came home and did not have sex. I was feeling too burned out from recent overwork. Instead we watched (and I re-watched) a movie on Netflix called The Voices, in which Ryan Reynolds shows way more acting prowess than I ever knew he had. I’ve always thought he was cute and charismatic but I never knew he could act. I have a whole new respect for him now.

Even though the not-fucking was my own choice, I still felt a bit of panic like “Oh no – this is the beginning of the end – now we’ll become one of those complacent couples where the spark is gone.” Yeah, I have issues. I know.

In the morning I finally made my move (petting his chest and seeing if he moaned, as usual). Which quickly segued into me riding him, and although he was enthusiastic at first, I soon began to perceive a slight lacklustre quality to his moaning and I think his erection was flagging slightly. He’d done a bathroom run right before we started so I didn’t think it was a full bladder issue. I decided to mix things up a little bit and see if that helped.

I anchored The Pedant spread-eagled to my bed and then proceeded to jerk him off with a finger in his ass.

Side note: the visit before that, I had surprised him with a Tenga Egg (basically a textured jelly masturbator type thing) and it ended up being sort of underwhelming. I was partly disappointed ’cause I was hoping to inspire an even bigger reaction than usual, but partly relieved because it seems like the actual most exciting way to get him off is with my body parts, no extra accoutrements needed. And it’s kind of sweet that my hand is so much more exciting to him than fancy textures and stuff. I think he has an actual kink for hand jobs, odd as that may seem. They’re one of his favourite things, he reacts more strongly to them than he does to mouth stuff, and when I started jerking him off this visit he immediately started vocalizing way more strongly than the actual stimulation would seem to have warranted. I think he gets off on the idea of getting off via someone’s hand. Which I like.

So I’m kneeling between his spread knees, rhythmically wiggling my right index finger inside him while slowly swirling my lubed hand around the head of his cock and then dragging down the shaft, and he’s squirming and making a sound that honestly I’d describe more as squawking than moaning; his voice kinda goes up high and starts breaking when he’s turned on, which I find super crazy hot. Normally he has a self-assured, measured baritone. I enjoy making his voice skitter and dissolve.

I perceived, though, that the ass play was perhaps distracting him from coming, as it sometimes does. So I kept that hand motionless for a while, kept stroking his cock until he seemed to be getting really close to the edge, and then suddenly wiggled the finger in his ass again – which instantly triggered his orgasm. I felt like the king of the world for pulling off the timing on that, let me tell you. I am an artiste. And he screamed and bucked and pulled against the restraints and coated my hand in come.

If my own experiences with my vagina are anything to go by, yanking my finger out of him immediately post-orgasm would probably be uncomfortable. So I just held still for a while, all emotional from watching him come, and feeling him sporadically clench around my finger with aftershocks, until he asked me to withdraw.

Then I climbed up his body and undid the wrist cuffs so he could put his arms around me for a while. Eventually I made us some breakfast and we talked about going to see Deadpool that afternoon, but The Pedant ended up sleeping right through and I didn’t have the heart to wake him. When he did finally get up, he said we’d go to the late night showing (which meant pushing back his previous plan to go clubbing. I was flattered that he chose to extend his time with me).

There were a few hours until we had to leave. He re-shaved my head for me and declared that we should go out to dinner at a place near me that does gluten free pasta. I was like “That sounds awesome. But first, come get me off” and I pulled him to the bedroom by his wrist.

The Pedant checked his phone and said “Yeah, I guess we have time.”

“I know we do,” I said. “Come here.”

I had him move my favourite dong in and out of me while I used the Hitachi. Came twice, resoundingly. “Did you get what you needed?” The Pedant asked.*

“I…think so? But don’t go anywhere just yet,” I said.

“Okay.” The Pedant stayed cuddled up to my side without pulling the toy out of me. After a while he started manipulating my clit with his fingers, and whatever he was doing felt good but a bit too intense.

“I think I’m a bit too sensitive right now for such…targeted stimulation,” I said. “However…” and I flipped the Hitachi back on and gently nudged his hand aside with it. Got myself off again another time or two while The Pedant thrust in and out with the toy. My brain just totally dissolved, then, and I set the various sex tools aside and curled up in The Pedant’s arms for a snugglecry. When I was able to speak coherently, I caressed his cheek, looked him in the eye, and said “Good boy.” (Since he so often seems to need assurance that he did well, despite me coming so hard I damn near hit the ceiling. And since as my submissive sex toy he probably would thrive on knowing he did his job well). I’m pretty sure I saw him stifle a smile and struggle to remain nonchalant.

A bit more snugglecry later, I lightly ran my hand down The Pedant’s body and over his (flaccid) cock. I just wanted to feel the silky texture against my palm; I did not expect The Pedant to give his patented Moan of Sexual Receptiveness. And yet he did, and actually it was significantly louder than most times I’ve started touching him. It was very much a middle-of-foreplay moan, not a beginning-of-foreplay moan, is what I’m saying. And that is how I learned that getting me off does in fact arouse The Pedant. I honestly did not know that, because he volunteers to do so very rarely and when I ask him to he almost always does it in impersonal, workmanlike fashion without looking at my face or body at all.

I trailed my palm over his pretty, pretty cock again, just to confirm, and I got the moan again. And this was all the encouragement I needed to clumsily straddle The Pedant and start kissing him and lightly thumbing his nipples. He got hard instantly and as I reached down to part my labia, he reached down in tandem to angle his cock upward to receive me. I rode him over the edge and as he began to come he wrapped his hands around my hips to indicate that I should stop thrusting. I’m pretty sure most guys I’ve ever been with preferred stimulation to continue right through to the end of their orgasms, but sometimes The Pedant gets oversensitive or something. So I held my hips motionless and felt his cock throb hard inside me for what felt like an absurdly long time. His head reared up off the pillow, crashed down, reared up again, and this time I brought one of my hands up to cradle it close to my chest as his cock kept pulsing.

All of this – from that first affectionate petting of his cock to the climactic finish – took less than five minutes. And yet it was completely epic. I love intense quickies like that.

Then we got ready and left for dinner. There was a city bus parked right outside the restaurant. Midway through our meal I noticed it was still there and I was like “What’s the deal with this bus? Why is it just sitting there?”

The Pedant said “Well, it’s lights are flashing, the lights inside it are off, and there’s no driver anywhere to be found. I’d say either it’s broken down or it fell asleep.”

“Oh!” I said, responding to his slightly condescending tone with a fake epiphany-voice. “And a sleeping bus must have to have its lights flashing all the time, in the same way that a sleeping shark has to remain constantly in motion.”

The Pedant did his little sarcastic fake-laugh thing, and then I decided to torture him with a series of bon mots based on the saying “if this van is rockin’, don’t come knockin’.” For the entire rest of our meal I was sporadically coming up with these things, and it would always make him give me a look that was sort of affectionate and pained and amused at the same time.

Let’s see how many of them I can remember:

“If this bus is napping, don’t come rapping!”

“If this bus is sleeping, don’t come peeping!”

“If this bus is slumbering, don’t come lumbering!”

“If this bus is snoozing, don’t come schmoozing!”

“If this bus is dozing, don’t come nosing!”

“If this bus is blinking, don’t come slinking!”

“If this bus is flashing, don’t come crashing!”

…I know there were a handful of others – and that they became increasingly awkward and contrived as time went on (at one point I was trying to think of a rhyme for “lethargic” but failed) – but I can’t remember them. You get my gist, though. This is what I subjected The Pedant to. And then after dinner when we were running to catch a bus stopped at a red light so we could get to the theatre, I was like “It’s not even pulled over, though! The guy might not let us on!” and he said the bus was idling and that had to count for something, and I was like “If this bus is idling, don’t come sidling!” and he facepalmed. 😀

Deadpool is an excellent piece of entertainment, by the way. Also, The Pedant and I held hands through most of it and when Wade Wilson and his love interest were gushing about how well they complement each other as a couple, The Pedant gave my fingers a little extra stroke and squeeze. I am 99% sure he has no idea he did that and 85% sure it was not a coincidence but rather a sort of subconscious “Hey, us too! We fit together like that!” reaction to what was happening on-screen. Purrrrrr.

After the movie, The Pedant accompanied me back to my neighbourhood (the club he planned to go to was nearish to my apartment) and we said our goodbyes by my front door. He thanked me for a wonderful weekend and I found it difficult to keep a straight face because I feel like any wonderfulness there was all running in one direction: from him to me. By my calculations he spent over a hundred bucks on the two of us in those two days. Oh, and I forgot to mention, but I’d said something in passing a while back about how I don’t carry my earplugs with me anymore because the container broke; at sushi the first night, The Pedant gave me three different kinds of containers suitable for earplug-carrying, plus an actual brand new pair of earplugs that came with a container as well. Oh, and initially I thought I had a paid foot session the next day (but the guy ended up flaking) so I got The Pedant to paint my toenails for me while we watched Netflix.

But if he feels like catering to my every need and showering me with outings and gifts makes for a “wonderful” weekend for him, I’m sure not gonna tell him different. So I just smiled and said “Thank you” and we kissed a bunch and parted company.

Over the next few days I sensed that he was being a bit distant, although that might just be my anxiety paranoia talking. But, like, I realized that I don’t happen to have any modelling jobs on my birthday (which is coming up next month) or the days on either side of it, and I asked if The Pedant was working on those days. He said yes (literally just that one word.) I said “Too bad; that’s my birthday and it would have been nice to unwrap you.” You would think that this would be his cue to offer me a different time for celebrating together, but instead he just said that there would be other chances. He capped it with a smiley face but I still felt a little antsy about the exchange. And he was pretty incommunicado for a few days after that, too.

I figure maybe sometimes when we’ve had a really intimate and loving time his psyche needs to pull him in the opposite direction for a bit (I know he has this huge fear of a woman monopolizing too much of his time). Or, hell, maybe he just got busy with work, or something and can’t spare the brainspace to make any plans with me. I dunno. But I’m trying to be lenient and ride it out. After all, I freaked out inside my head because – for the first time in like two years – I didn’t tackle him and put his cock inside me the moment we got in my door. We all have our irrational fears here. 😛

 

*Tangent: almost every time The Pedant is here, he’ll ask me something like “feeling better now?” after I’ve orgasmed and “are you glad I came over?”after an orgasm or at the end of the visit. Sometimes both. Which seems like he needs reassurance, and yet nothing about his tone or demeanor seems particularly insecure. It’s confusing. Does he really not know yet that I’m always happy to have him here? I’ve told him I love him. I tell him constantly how hot he is. I snuggle close to him all night long. These are pretty big signs that I am glad he’s over.

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