I was thinking about that time The Pedant said that my estranging myself from my parents for a few years meant that I was a big scaredy cat whereas he continued living with his parents but just harangued them until they mostly left him alone, which meant that he’s some big badass.

This is totally another of his wacky made-up ideas about himself, though. Because guess what The Pedant did this past Christmas? Spent time with the family he hates. I told him he was welcome to spend it with me instead – pointing out that “I have a girlfriend who wants me to come over” is the kind of thing heternormative parental people can kind of understand, and might give him a get-out-of-jail-free card. But he didn’t. He did the whole Christmas dinner thing with them and then bitched to me about it afterward.

And a couple years back when his grandfather died whom he didn’t even like, he left my place earlier than planned to attend the wake.

Guess what I did this past Christmas? Hung out with a friend of mine. My parents don’t even ask me to come to their place anymore because they know I won’t.

Guess what happens every time my parents want me to go to a family member’s funeral or contact a living family member? I tell them “No. I don’t want to.” They’ve stopped asking.

So, I’m sorry, who’s scared of their family?

Also, in the past The Pedant has spoken at length about his fantasy of moving out without telling his parents where he was going or even that he was going, and just totally vanishing out of their lives. I already did that.* At age 21 (The Pedant is…32? 34?). To an unknown city (The Pedant would move within the city), with no job waiting for me (The Pedant is employed), despite being so thoroughly fucked up by anxiety and depression that even going outside or making a phone call was almost impossible for me, let alone finding a place and making moving arrangements (The Pedant has none of these issues).


If The Pedant had really cowed his parents into submission and was completely out from under their thumbs, he would not be showing up at these family gatherings that he hates and probably wouldn’t fantasize about essentially running away from home (he would change his phone number and delete his Facebook profile, even; he wants to vanish). Honestly I think he’s jealous of me and rationalizing.


*Albeit I did not actually live with my parents at the time; I’d moved out at age eighteen, but found that “across town” was just not enough distance for my liking.

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