When my previous post here left off, I had told the dumbass 20yo I was messaging with that my ideal sub would read the plethora of info on my profile and tell me why he was a good fit for me instead of asking me “so what are you looking for in a sub?” (after I’d told him that this info was on my profile, no less).

He replied: “I read your profile but I’m a shy personality and I feel unless I meet you in person I won’t know if your right for me.”

This raised a lot of questions/thoughts for me.

  • Dafuq does him being a “shy personality” have to do with reading my damn profile?
  • Interesting how he asked me to talk about why we’d be compatible and when I sent the ball back to his court, suddenly talking about compatibility was irrelevant and really we should just meet.
  • Oh, so my writings wouldn’t tell him anything about whether we’d be a good match? He’s not even going to do a cursory check just to make sure I’m not super into shitting in a dude’s mouth or something? Okay then. (Spoilers: I don’t believe for a second that he read my profile at all).
  • I had told him in my first message that my profile contained all the info a guy could ever need to figure out how to woo or impress me…and he didn’t look at it. So impressing me is apparently not that important to him (which is weird because his profile was all “won’t somebody please give me a chaaaance!?!” Okay, here I am, offering a chance, so…?). Also I like a sub who’s proactive – who notices what I like, or what needs doing, and does it without being asked. My offhandedly mentioning that my profile has pertinent info was a test. He failed it.
  • But I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and, in case he’s just that stupid about taking hints, I outright told him that my ideal sub would read my writings and tell me what resonated with him…and he still didn’t do it. Why would I consider someone as my potential submissive if he doesn’t want to be the kind of sub I want? Also BTW reading my profile before asking me shit is a basic courtesy I’d expect even in vanilla dating. You read what the person has to say about themselves and then you ask questions if you need anything clarified. You don’t ignore the profile and go “so tell me about yourself!” fucker, I already did.
  • He allegedly wants to be a houseboy. He talked in his profile about what a hard worker he was. But he was too lazy to click his mouse twice in order to access an entire manual on how to make me swoon forevar. Dude WTF.

Anyway, I called him out. Told him it’s obvious he hasn’t read anything on my profile and is trying to deflect. Pointed out that asking me to do a bunch of extraneous work because he couldn’t be arsed to do a simple task is…kind of a stupid thing for a sub to do if he wants to make a good impression. And I said I wasn’t interested in talking to him any further.

That was last night, and so far I’ve gotten no whiny, entitled response from him so I think perhaps he’s just gonna let it go. Which is fine.

But I suspect that in his mind I was a big meaniehead for expecting him to make a normal human effort to get to know me, and I never gave him a chaaaance and it’s not faaaaair. Nobody gives him a chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance. Sadface.

1 Comment

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One response to “Yep.

  1. mstabbity

    So much ugh. I had to call someone out in a very similar way a while ago. My last reply to him was:

    You’re making it really hard not to be a jerk. You do not think you might be good for me. You don’t care about me at all. I know this because you obviously haven’t read the personal linked toward the end of my profile. In it, I spell out the best way to contact me and the age range that I’m interested in.

    The truly sad thing is that dude is 49 and should goddamn well know better by now. What is it with people who can’t be bothered to read a profile?

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