Happy things

My parents’ mailed cheque arrived already – and was for $700 instead of the proffered $500. I am so thankful. Mom told me to express my appreciation by emailing her more often to let her know how I’m doing. I feel like she’s not fully comprehending the effects anxiety and depression have on me – it’s not just her I’m not talking to much, it’s everyone. But I’m gonna try to make more of an effort.

The Pedant has replied to those unanswered texts (except the mushy one but that’s par for the course). Also he called me tonight, and mentioned in passing that he’s been extra busy/exhausted for the last few days. We’re okay.

While I do not qualify for a normal welfare cheque this month, my worker did mention a bunch of one-off bonus-type things I do qualify for and these came through faster than I thought they would – when I logged into my online banking site yesterday to top up my bank account with $800 of credit in time for rent day, I found that my balance was already enough to cover me. I didn’t have to transfer anything. I must have sat there staring stupidly at the number on my screen for five minutes before I understood that I wasn’t hallucinating.

My parents’ cheque wasn’t enough to pay off my line of credit entirely, but it made a sizeable dent and I didn’t have to fuck myself further into the red for rent money, so I am just overjoyed. And cheques from the non-cash gigs I’ve worked this month is slowly beginning to trickle in. I’m beginning to feel like a self-sufficient human being again.

Also I finally finished a complicated custom clip I’ve been working on for three weeks, which is a huge load off my mind (but I won’t totally feel okay until I hear from the client that he liked it).

And I have two potential finsubs courting my attention. I’m not counting on them coming through, but it would be nice.

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