I’ve been enjoying playing with paypet a lot, and also I have a lot of things I want but can’t afford, so I’m endeavoring to find more paypets (hopefully in person this time).
To the Craigslistmobile! I searched for words like “shopping” and “princess” and found quite a few ads from guys looking to take a woman shopping (none overtly spoke of financial domination but you could tell it’s what they were driving at). I responded to all of them. Three guys wrote back. It appears that all of them have gotten spooked and run away. Including the one who seemed so sweet and sincere and was supposed to meet me at the mall today for shopping. I spent half an hour constructing my Hot Girl Disguise and 45 minutes travelling to the mall on public transit, only to be stood up with no notice or contact of any kind and have to travel 45 minutes back home again. I PUT GLITTER ON MY TITS FOR THIS, YOU GUYS. THIS EVENING WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIT-GLITTER.
I’m disappointed by the other two guys ghosting (both of them cancelled our meet-ups the day before they were slated to happen) but I’m fucking pissed at the one who stood me up. That is bullshit.
Like, I get that it’s scary to meet strangers from online. And I get that when you’ve been fantasizing about a thing but never done it, taking it to the real world and doing it is suuuuper scary. I remember the conflict I felt when I was first seeking subs – simultaneously afraid that the real experience wouldn’t be as good as my fantasies (because what would I wank to then?!) and that it would be better than my fantasies (because I could never go back to living a normal life again! I’d need to date submissive men and only submissive men, forever! My dating pool would be tiny and most people would think I was a freak!).
So yes. Meeting up with someone to get a fetish fulfilled can be scary for a number of reasons. But if you get spooked and don’t wanna meet after all, OPEN YOUR GODDAMNED DICKHOLE AND SAY SO WITH YOUR WORDS. Don’t waste my fucking time.
I actually have modelling gigs every night this week. Tonight was my only free evening. And I spent it being all excited and hopeful and painstakingly preparing for something that never ended up happening. Not to mention wasting two bus fares. And just to recap, the guy I was supposed to meet tonight:
- Was motivated enough in his kink to post an ad on Craigslist
- Had a specific monthly budget to allot to his future “Princess” (so he’s either done this before or at least given it a lot of thought in a practical, down-to-Earth way)
- Sent me a photo of himself without me even asking
- Offered to meet me and take me shopping – he initiated that, not me
- Wrote to me several times in the meantime to tell me he was super excited and could hardly wait
- Asked me some practical questions like how he should refer to me and whether I had any rules for him to follow
You know he’s gonna repost that same ad on Craigslist and repeat the cycle with no glimmer of self-awareness, right?
When I got home from my pointless little journey I emailed him all “Yeeeeah so I waited at our meeting place for 45 min and you didn’t show up or email me…is there anything you’d like to say to me right now?” He has not responded. I didn’t even get the courtesy of him inventing a personal emergency and broken cell phone/computer. He’s just…gone.