I’ve been enjoying playing with paypet a lot, and also I have a lot of things I want but can’t afford, so I’m endeavoring to find more paypets (hopefully in person this time).

To the Craigslistmobile! I searched for words like “shopping” and “princess” and found quite a few ads from guys looking to take a woman shopping (none overtly spoke of financial domination but you could tell it’s what they were driving at). I responded to all of them. Three guys wrote back. It appears that all of them have gotten spooked and run away. Including the one who seemed so sweet and sincere and was supposed to meet me at the mall today for shopping. I spent half an hour constructing my Hot Girl Disguise and 45 minutes travelling to the mall on public transit, only to be stood up with no notice or contact of any kind and have to travel 45 minutes back home again. I PUT GLITTER ON MY TITS FOR THIS, YOU GUYS. THIS EVENING WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIT-GLITTER.

I’m disappointed by the other two guys ghosting (both of them cancelled our meet-ups the day before they were slated to happen) but I’m fucking pissed at the one who stood me up. That is bullshit.

Like, I get that it’s scary to meet strangers from online. And I get that when you’ve been fantasizing about a thing but never done it, taking it to the real world and doing it is suuuuper scary. I remember the conflict I felt when I was first seeking subs – simultaneously afraid that the real experience wouldn’t be as good as my fantasies (because what would I wank to then?!) and that it would be better than my fantasies (because I could never go back to living a normal life again! I’d need to date submissive men and only submissive men, forever! My dating pool would be tiny and most people would think I was a freak!).

So yes. Meeting up with someone to get a fetish fulfilled can be scary for a number of reasons. But if you get spooked and don’t wanna meet after all, OPEN YOUR GODDAMNED DICKHOLE AND SAY SO WITH YOUR WORDS. Don’t waste my fucking time.

I actually have modelling gigs every night this week. Tonight was my only free evening. And I spent it being all excited and hopeful and painstakingly preparing for something that never ended up happening. Not to mention wasting two bus fares. And just to recap, the guy I was supposed to meet tonight:

  • Was motivated enough in his kink to post an ad on Craigslist
  • Had a specific monthly budget to allot to his future “Princess” (so he’s either done this before or at least given it a lot of thought in a practical, down-to-Earth way)
  • Sent me a photo of himself without me even asking
  • Offered to meet me and take me shopping – he initiated that, not me
  • Wrote to me several times in the meantime to tell me he was super excited and could hardly wait
  • Asked me some practical questions like how he should refer to me and whether I had any rules for him to follow

You know he’s gonna repost that same ad on Craigslist and repeat the cycle with no glimmer of self-awareness, right?

When I got home from my pointless little journey I emailed him all “Yeeeeah so I waited at our meeting place for 45 min and you didn’t show up or email me…is there anything you’d like to say to me right now?” He has not responded. I didn’t even get the courtesy of him inventing a personal emergency and broken cell phone/computer. He’s just…gone.



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6 responses to “Livid

  1. Downlow

    That sucks. It really does. But no shows and time wasters are part of sex work. They often construct elaborate emails, which are frequent and detailed. Next time, I advise getting a token gift card or PayPal of say $50 to test sincerity before agreeing to a meeting. Also, I hope you’re being bitchy. These guys love the humiliation. They expect to walk 3 feet behind you and not be acknowledged except to pay. If you refer to them, it’s as “bitch boy”, as in ” hey bitch boy, it’s time to pay for these new heels you’re buying me.” Never say thank you or imply gratitude, but post on your blog how excited you are my your new stuff.

    Good luck.

    • Referring to them as “bitch boy” etc. before they’ve actually bought me anything constitutes giving them sex work for free. They’ll just jerk off to my initial emails and then never need to meet me.

      Also I have a theory that coming across as a PERSON and not a domly-dom persona will attract people who are more serious about this instead of the pointless wankers.

      Def gonna start asking for tribute in advance to prove their sincerity, though.

      • You are absolutely right re: don’t humiliate for free, and the kind of clients that doing so will attract. I’ve gotten stood up for work like, maaaaybe once in the last four years, and that’s my approach. The tribute is a good idea — don’t get discouraged if some guys balk, they’re exactly the ones you’re trying to filter out.

  2. trillian

    Just a thought but have you maybe refused to send a photo, so he ended up lurking around the corner checking your looks out and then deciding you were not his thing? Happens a lot. However girls do it more.

    • I sent him two photos: face and full body. And they were accurate pics – I picked flattering ones, obviously, not ones where the lighting made my face look craggy or ones where my mouth was half open and I was mid-blink, but nothing about the photos was misleading or anything. He would have met the exact woman from those pics. And he told me I was gorgeous and he was the luckiest man alive.

      I’m chalking this one up to general cold feet.

  3. Pingback: In which everyone is a flaky ass-clown but me. | hiding in plain sight

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