Yesterday Mine told me he could come over tonight at 10 or 11pm if I wanted. I said yes.
I’d been assuming that we could pick up where we left off, kind of. I’d been assuming that he’d come to the door and I’d be making out with him almost immediately and his time here would be spent with him basically subbing to me.
But last night he said he’d text me this afternoon. I didn’t know why he’d be texting me this afternoon – our plans were already in place, right? But I said sure. And then I didn’t hear from him.
Finally at around 9pm I pointedly texted him, “Let me know when you’re leaving.”
He said “Leaving around 10:30. I was at a work BBQ.” (Note: he lives at least an hour away.)
I said “Hey, given that you originally said you’d be here at 10 or 11, the thing to do would have been to tell me about this BBQ at least an hour ago. I’m not super mad or anything but I’m just saying.”
But after I sent it I realized that I actually am angry. Like…extremely so. I JUST WANT A PARTNER WHO’S CONSISTENT AND RELIABLE HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT. And this is twigging all my old issues with Mine. Like, once again his work gets in the way; once again he prioritizes his work over me. I tend to assume that if this were some boring function he didn’t wanna be at, he’d’ve told me ahead of time that it would make him arrive later than he’d said. But he didn’t, which makes me think he was having fun and forgot about me.
I want to feel important. I want someone to be so excited about seeing me that he’s thinking about it all the time and it’s just natural to keep me updated and/or put me ahead of other people who want his time and attention.
This shit, coming on the heels of The Pedant telling me fifty thousand times that he was going to focus his attention on othergirl, is pretty much driving me to the breaking point. Mine will be here any minute and I have no idea what I’ll do when I see him. Be stiff and formal, probably. Although bursting into tears or kissing him or both doesn’t seem entirely out of the question, either. He is, after all, the first person I fell in love with since Minx.
I do not like this predicament. At all.