No longer Mine

The Person Formerly Known As Mine is now on his way home again, after a couple of hours of us talking and me realizing that a) our relationship would probably never work and b) I could not mourn about this with him present.

I realize now that we never really properly broke up, the first time around. Like, we agreed that we couldn’t be in a relationship, but we also agreed that this was largely due to circumstance and that maybe once that changed we’d be able to resume. And with that glimmer of hope on the horizon I was never able to truly move on.

Now I guess I’m free.

6 Comments

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6 responses to “No longer Mine

  1. I’m so sorry to hear that :(.

    I want to say ‘true’ things like “it’s better that you recognised it now and acted on it rather than having it drag out for ages”, but I know that doesn’t actually make any difference to how it feels.

    Sending positive thoughts.

    Ferns

    • It still does reassure me to realize I made the right choice.

      In the past I would have ignored my gut and at the very least had him stay the night in a futile attempt to try to recapture what we had. It sucks to lose someone, and I usually resist it every step of the way. I’ve clung to men and begged them to stay just a little longer while everything in my gut was telling me I didn’t even want him in my house anymore – strange but true.

      But this time I was true to myself, so yay for personal growth I guess.

  2. dommeluck

    I grieve along with you, I know what that feels like, and I’m so sorry. Reading your last few posts, I really want you to find the reliability and consistency in a partner that you want and you DESERVE. It is so hard sometimes, when other things are so good, to assert that need. I want it just to be there for you, for you not to have to fight for it. Now that you are closing off old unfinished business (however painfully), I hope the result is that your heart and head and schedule have more room and openness to receive new and better things. *sending hugs*

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