…Is that I was totally feeling good about The Pedant and thinking that we were on track to years of excellent drama-free sex and pleasant companionship. I’d gotten some emotional distance and accepted that he’s not the type to be verbally effusive or text me all the time. I felt cared-for when he was around and pushed him out of my mind when he wasn’t.
And then this whole girlfriend thing happened and it’s bringing up the old bullshit all over again. Because I guess I got myself to a better headspace by telling myself he’s just not a person who’s willing to work hard at relationships, or who really wants to commit to anyone, so I needed to either accept that or move on…and now he’s committing to someone and wanting to work hard at their relationship (well, for certain values of “work hard.” He did declare monogamy with her and then fuck me the very next time he saw me…). And this commitment and work seems like it’s going to come at my expense.