Things with paypet have hit a little snag.
I should’ve seen it coming. I knew that he had a tendency to talk about huge silly daydreams as though they would actually happen. But the difference is that the money play was something that could actually happen right now (and did, to an extent!).
Alas, it turns out that when paypet told me “my money is totally yours except for a little bit that I need to pay my expenses every month. Just take what you want! I’ll even ask your permission before buying anything for myself!” he was speaking with the same half-cocked enthusiasm as when he was all “And I’ll come visit you and you can lead me around on a leash at play parties and maybe I’ll even move there and be your live-in pet!”
Last paycheque he said his account was in the negative and I needed to hold off a bit while he got his footing again. Today is his next payday and when I asked how much of his money I would get to play with this time, he said he didn’t know yet; he’d borrowed money from his boss a time or two the previous month and it would be coming out of today’s cheque.
He’d borrowed money?!
Here’s our text conversation from there:
Me: I’m confused about why you would be borrowing.
Pet: I had to borrow last week. $300 from my boss. So that was taken out of this check.
Me: You presented yourself to me as someone with a decent paycheque and almost no expenses, and also said that aside from those expenses I had dibs on all your money. If some part of that changed, you should have told me.
(Context: his last pay was allegedly around a thousand bucks. For some reason – I forget – he wasn’t able to put it in the bank right away, or something, so he bought a reloadable Visa card and gave me the number instead so I could shop online as soon as I wanted. The Visa card had $400 on it because apparently that’s the most you can get. I spent that. And I made, I think, two small purchases from paypet’s bank account soon after because he had indicated to me that a) his account has overdraft and b) he thought it would be super hot if I took his account into the negative sometime. Turns out his bank charges a penalty of $37 per transaction when the account is in overdraft, which is fucking insane, but doesn’t explain why his account ended up like $500 in the negative. There should still have been $600 or so of pay left over, and paypet lives with his parents and doesn’t pay rent or utilities.So what the fuck happened?)
Pet: It didn’t change.I was playing catch up from when my bank was at nearly -$500. I kept borrowing money to keep up. That was a week’s pay I was behind. And I did spend some on myself for a game I play. [note: why is it so hard to find a boy who’ll DO WHAT I TELL HIM – or, if he realizes he can’t, uses his words to say so? Paypet OFFERED to ask permission any time he wanted to spend money on himself. I did not ask for this privilege and would never have been so presumptuous. But he offered it, and I was pleased by the idea. And then he went ahead and totally didn’t do it.] My expenses are little but they can start adding up fast. I’m sure you know how it is. [Note: not really, because I make less than he does and I PAY FOR RENT AND FOOD and I still end up in the black most months – no credit card debt, even]. Being used to having 1k or so then having 500-600 instead. I have a little extra money. As long as I don’t go overboard I’ll be back to normal. I told you I had a little more catching up to do this paycheck and it would be settled.
[I did not like how defensive he was sounding; also he seemed to be fixated on the actual material issue of the money, which was not even the point, for me. The point is that if you want to be my sub, and you tell me exactly what areas you want to be submissive to me in and we agree on how our dynamic will work – fucking hold up your end of it. Submissives should do as they’re told. People in general should uphold their promises. Christ.
I set about defusing the situation, and I think it worked:]
Me: Would it be fair to say that we jumped into things a little too fast?
Pet: That’s fair to say. I may have got a little excited lol. Everything always looks nicer on paper and in a fantasy. I didn’t lie about my bills, but money can be more easily spent than I may have made it sound. I do have doctor appointments, gas money, pleasures, etc. We can kinda start over if you wanna.
Me: Yeah, I think we should renegotiate the terms a bit. I’m pretty flexible as far as what I’d have fun doing. My main thing is, I want reliability in a sub over pretty much anything else. So if a boy agrees to submit to me in a certain way or under certain circumstances, I need to know that he actually will. Better to say “Surprise-spend some of my money but only $50/month” and be rock solid about it than tell me your whole income is mine but have that quickly fall apart, you know? So think about it and tell me what you can definitely do. We can always extend it later if we want.
That was a few hours ago and I’ve heard nothing else from him. Unsure if he’s thinking about how to proceed or nursing hurt feelings at kind of being called out as an unreliable sub. Guess we’ll see.