Awkward.

Commented on a FetLife thread about men and attractiveness last night. Mentioned how hot I thought an ex-partner was, with a pretty florid description of what I liked about his body. The partner in question was The Bunny. I posted this thing at like 3am (when The Bunny isn’t usually awake) and subsequently posted a whole bunch of other shit in other threads because I’ve been having insomnia lately and posting all the fuck over FetLife like a rabbit on crack is what I do when I can’t sleep. You’d think that the one Bunny post would have been pushed waaaaay down my feed by the time he woke up and got on FetLife, but nope, he saw it. And texted me going “bearlike, eh?” (I’d described his body as bearlike.)

I know he didn’t text me to be malicious. He’s not that kind of boy. But he’s a dumbass. Because in light of me having dumped him because he never wanted to fuck me anymore, his text comes off like a smug little “I don’t find you attractive anymore but I know you still think about my body sometimes so nyah nyah!”

Probably he was just digging for compliments. Even when we were still together but he’d blatantly lost sexual interest in me, he still had an endless capacity for hearing me talk about how hot he was. He’d never had a woman explicitly say that she found his body hot to look at before; I was a novelty for him. I think he misses feeling hot and wants me to bring that feeling back for him.

But I don’t generally go on to someone about their attractiveness unless they make me feel attractive back, and The Bunny isn’t equipped to do that – not by fucking me and not by using his mouth-words to form compliments. So fuck that. I responded to his text with a tangent about bears.

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