It’s paypet’s bday today…and it came out that he actually lied about his age on his FL profile. He’s not 25 turning 26. He’s 23 turning 24.
I don’t really care or anything (although it’s hilarious to me that he lied to try to preserve his anonymity – his profile lists a different city from where he actually lives and – when I first spoke to him – had a pic of only his disembodied torso. I don’t think stating his real age is gonna make people immediately go “Ohhh hey I know that guy! I wasn’t sure before, but now…”) but it does make his overeagerness make even more sense.
On a possibly related note, the boy is not good with political correctness and it bothers me. Like he used the word “trap” the other day to mean “hot man who passes as female” and when I said that it’s often used as a slur against trans people and kinda makes my heart hurt, he said “Well they use it on 4chan all the time!” like that was an excuse. I’m old and out of touch and even I know that 4chan is notoriously filled with shitty awfulness. If you try to defend a bad thing by saying they do it on fucking 4chan, that will only prove my point.
To be clear, I’m okay with pet not knowing that “trap” is a Word We Don’t Say. I am not okay with him trying to defend it after I explained the wrongness. Whether he gives a shit about political correctness or trans people or not, I was very clear that I do not like that word – it gives me an almost physical pain when someone casually tosses it around – and anyone who wants to be in any kind of relationship with me should want to avoid hurting me or pissing me off, yes?
And now I’ve just explained to him about Minx’s trans status and he almost immediately misgendered her. When I corrected him he was like “Yeah, yeah, ‘she.’ Cut me some slack, it’s been a long day.”
When I’ve been pissed off at him for other things, he’s apologized gracefully. It’s only political correctness issues that make him bristle and whine and defend himself. And he’s so young and honestly not super bright from what I can tell and white and cismale that I don’t know if I can even explain the concept of privilege to him and try to dismantle this shit – I may actually have to just be like “Look, don’t say these words in front of me BECAUSE I SAID SO. Preferably don’t use them at all, but at the very least don’t use them in front of me.”
Oh, speaking of cismale privilege, last night he asked if I had any rape fantasies and it predictably turned into more-or-less this conversation again. Sigh.
Rape means fucking someone who doesn’t want it*. It does not mean initiating rough but enjoyable sex. If you want fun rough PIV then ask for it because if you ask for rape play instead, I will aim to leave you terrified and crying and/or bleeding.
*And I would argue that rape play needs elements of tension/fear/unwillingness, too, otherwise how is it rapey? It’s just rough sex.