DickFace the Kitten was lying with her head on The Pedant’s umbrella and I decided this was as good a reason to break my post-argument silence with him as any.
Me: Kitten has claimed your umbrella as a pillow. [Sends photo[
Pedant: Now I’m going to feel bad about reclaiming it.
Me: Bastardcat has used your ASS as a pillow and you took that away without remorse…you monster…
Pedant: I think that’s what’s referred to as an “apples and oranges” comparison.
Me: Which kind of fruit is your ass?
Me: Well now I wanna bite it even more than usual.
Pedant: I can’t imagine there’s a “more than” available.
Me: There is. I’m slightly deterred by the fur layer. But imagining delicious bacon underneath rather than fruit…kinda makes it seem worthwhile.
Pedant: This is why laser hair removal is under consideration. The idea of your mouth watering at the very thought of clamping it onto my flesh makes the expense worthwhile.
Me: Purrrrrrrrrr! 😀
YOU GUISE YOU GUISE DID YOU SEE?!? The Pedant texted me sexytalk! Good sexytalk, too. Sexytalk that actually made my stomach do a little flip and my knees go floopy.
…I think this might be one of those “even a stopped clock is right twice a day” things so I’m not gonna start expecting this on a regular basis. But it was a pleasant surprise, and worth commemorating here.