Mine, pegging, porn and stuff.

Mine is snoozing in the bedroom right now but I can’t sleep so I’m out here in the living room typing.

We had a full day. Snuggles, breakfast at my favourite local cafe, kink, faux-llatio on my strap-on, pegging, more snuggles, he let me paint his toenails sparkly pink-and-gold, and we filmed a porn clip together of me smacking his junk around with my feet.

I never would have expected it – chalk it up to the personality changes I was talking about a few posts back – but making porn with Mine has proven to be a bonding experience for us. I’m super psyched to be working with him and making a physical record of the chemistry we have together. And we’re both turned on by the idea of dudes jerking off while watching/listening to him. He actually started jerking off a bit to the sound of his own moans (or maybe to the sound of my giggly trash-talk, or both) after we finished the clip and I was watching it to assess whether it was usable.

Also, I’d been thinking for a while now that I’d veered from genderqueer to just, y’know, a chick…but I guess not. Because in the middle of our strap-on shenanigans I tried to get myself off and was having a rough time and what got me over the edge, finally, was imagining that I was an anonymous cis-dude fucking Mine’s ass. This is what happens with me when I’m a dude; I need to have a dick – in my imagination at least – in order to come. Thinking of myself as having a vulva just feels weird and ill-fitting.

It’s kinda nice that my boy-side is back. I’ve been having mild-to-medium dysphoria and identifying with boys/men intermittently since I was a toddler, so it was weird to suddenly be only a chick. I wonder if Minx scared my inner dude away with her rampant bitchery back in the day and Mine’s calm, sweet acceptance is bringing that part of me out of hiding again?

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