Mystery Man Returns

I mentioned before that I got a text from an unknown number saying “how’s the harem coming along?”

I responded asking who it was and the person took a day or so to reply: “A mighty warrior in search of the fabled forge of glittery delights so that I may bake the gayest most fabulous cupcake in the kingdom.”

The Bunny is an avid baker, especially of cupcakes, and has been known to write some over-the-top prose in the past, so I said “I feel like these are Bunny sentiments. But they’re not coming from a Bunny number. And so I am vexed. VEXED I TELL YOU.” Yeah, I was feeling a little flirty ’cause I thought The Bunny might be missing me and deciding to woo me.

But then I promptly realized that The Bunny actually isn’t that articulate – he usually words things a little weirdly and/or makes spelling mistakes. Also I honestly don’t see him playing games like that. When I broke up with him I told him I needed time to myself, and The Bunny has his flaws but blatant disrespect of my stated emotional needs isn’t one of them. Neither is playing head games. And then my gut told me that the person texting me was probably The Baby Duck, and I got a little skin-crawly because he handled our breakup somewhat badly and I don’t want him in my life. I decided to ignore all texts from that number henceforth.

Anyway the mystery texter said “I am no one of consequence until my quest is achieved.” This doesn’t leave an opening for a reply, anyway, so hooray. The conversation ends here.

What is it with guys sending me anonymous messages years after we dated? Shit like that intrigues me for like fifteen seconds and then I just feel manipulated and irritated. Either tell me openly who you are and why you’re getting in touch or fuck the hell off.

Incidentally, I did text The Bunny just to make absolutely sure it wasn’t him:

Me: You’re not fucking with me via a different phone number, are you?

Bunny: No. I’d have no reason to. Someone causing you shit then?

Me: Not causing shit per se, but trying to bait me into conversation. I suspect it’s a guy I dated briefly a couple years ago.

Bunny: That’s much unfortunate. I hope you are able to solve the mystery and shut him the hell down.

Me: He made some banter like you would make but I kinda figured you wouldn’t bother doing the anonymous texts thing. I’ll just ignore him from now on.

Bunny: Good good.

Me: How have you been?

Bunny: Well enough and keeping myself occupied. I hope all has been well with you.

Me: No complaints. 🙂

The Bunny said nothing further, and given the tone of his texts in general it didn’t seem like he really wanted to chat, so I left it at that. I’m frankly somewhat surprised by his reticence. The way I see it, I’m the injured party here: I spent months making my lust for The Bunny very, very clear while he just casually turned me down for all sexual and kink activity while seeking these things out with others. I broke up with him quite civilly because it seemed he really only regarded me as a friend now, anyway, and at the time he took it well. So why is he curt and awkward now?  I sort of think he was keeping me around largely for all the validation I gave him, and assumed I was so hung up on him I’d never leave and he could feed off my compliments and lusty stares indefinitely. Oh well.

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