I think it’s interesting how much I’ve changed over the course of this blog. When I started writing it I was a person with a full-time, steady, but unfulfilling office job, hoping to find a relationship and assuming that when I did it would be monogamous. And I thought of myself as somewhat kinky but able to rein it in if necessary.
Now I do an unpredictable job that I love (that involves performing in front of people, of all things!) and I’m all “POLY FOREVAAAAAR!” and identify as a heavy sadist. And I wanna get into porn.
Not to mention that this blog chronicles the entirety of my last three long-term relationships (Minx, The Pedant, The Bunny)…for certain values of “long term.” Total voyeur candy right there. It fascinates me to “rewind” back to the beginnings of these relationships and read how I felt back then, before all the bullshit began.
I thought most people went through their huge rapid emotional growth stuff earlier in life. Either I was wrong, or my marriage freeze-framed me before I could get to it and I only began to grow once I got spit out the other end.
At any rate, high school me wouldn’t even recognize current me. Me from ten years ago would barely recognize me now. And I am perfectly fine with that.