Money musings/sex work lite

So I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been doing a little thing on FetLife of offering foot pics in exchange for nail polish gift certificates. It’s working nicely – I don’t have a steady stream of people buying me shit or anything, but I’ve gotten some nice little presents and everyone’s been remarkably respectful and sweet.

It occurs to me that, in order to be enticing and effective, online domme “wish lists” should probably be for luxury items and pretty shiny trinkets (like nail polish) – it behooves a woman to give the impression that she lives a live of indolence and luxury and that these men are simply lavishing extra attention on her. And probably the items asked for should be kinda sexy.

Like…it’s occurred to me to offer dudes an opportunity to buy me other things, but I think it would compromise my aura of sensual domly-dom power if I asked for the things I want most – like an electric shaver for my head, a shitload of basic everyday flesh-coloured bras because mine are almost worn out, or a sturdy knapsack to replace the one that’s falling apart.

Buying me fun stuff means I have the power. Buying me practical stuff because I can’t afford it myself means they have the power.

Reminds me of a friend-of-a-friend who works as a pro domme – her online presence acted like she was rich and stuff, but my friend told me that she really wasn’t. Her “favourite little space” that she sometimes used for a dungeon was her apartment, which she simply pretended was one of many spaces at her disposal. It gave clilents a better, more powerful image of her.

I’m also reminded of my own art modelling job, where I’m careful not to act like “Oh thank god you’re offering me work – now I can afford rent!” because that would no doubt make people uncomfortable. They don’t want to think I’m depending on them for my livelihood. They don’t want to think about the specifics of my life at all. They want a chick who’ll come over, be pleasant to interact with, and pose well, and that’s it. And so I always, always pretend I’m doing just fine and working a fair bit, even when I’m not.

It’s a lot of pressure, sometimes, having to act all nonchalant (“Oh, you need to cancel next week’s session? Sure, thanks for letting me know and call me when you’re free again”) when at times I’m really, really depending on that money. I like what I do, but in this tiny way I do miss working a “real,” “normal,” not-contract, not-freelance job. The only posturing I had to do at my office job was that I enjoyed it; the money came in steadily all by itself.

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4 responses to “Money musings/sex work lite

  1. Thud

    “an electric shaver for my head” – not necessarily as comfortable as you might think. I tried that, then went back to shaving mine with a blade.

    • I’ve been using one for years. But I want a different (and very expensive) model that shaves way closer than what I’ve got. The Pedant used his on me once and holy shit my head felt like suede.

  2. If you *want* to give people the option of buying you necessities rather than luxuries, a good way to fit that into a still-dommely persona is to phrase it as an intimate service: someone buying you a basic bra is not that different (D/s wise) than someone handwashing your basic bras so that they are ready for you to wear while you go about your dommely day. (And, of course, part of the appeal for the submissive is that, every time you wear that bra, they’re a small, positive part of that day.) Submissives who buy you the basics are freeing your money up to be spent on luxuries (whether or not that’s true), not holding you out of want (even if they in fact are).

    (That’s if you want to put the useful items up. It wasn’t clear if you felt that you would wreck your pro-domme-esque persona, or if it would wreck the enjoyment for you. If the latter, then obviously, ignore this.) 😀

  3. Thud

    I have just realized something: Historically I have bought women thermal or work socks. I wonder what THAT says about me ??? (currently -14C in Toronto)

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