So Minx was over the other night and I related the story of The Bunny assuming I’ve been having g-spot orgasms for no good reason, and how irritating that was. Minx had a good chuckle over that.

Then she asked “Was ‘fuck me, bitch’ a g-spot orgasm?”

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT. She asked this literally ten seconds after I said that I don’t come vaginally, and also we dated for three years and I reiterated that I only come from external clitoral stimulation every time she asked. Not to mention asking for, or giving myself, external clitoral stimulation any time I wanted to get off. Occasionally I wanted a couple of her fingers inside me to supplement the clitoral stuff, but I’ve never, ever asked for only finger penetration to get off. Because penetration alone won’t get me there. As I told her from the beginning.

And by the way, don’t you think that if – by some freak accident – I had an orgasm from penetration for the first time in thirty-odd years of getting off, I would probably say something? It’s a little presumptuous and weird for anyone to assume I’ve suddenly started climaxing in a brand new way and plumb forgot to mention it.

Penis-having people are pissing me right the fuck off lately.


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  1. The fact that you have yet to confess to murdering anyone is a testament to your saint-like levels of patience and fortitude.

  2. I’m sad to say it doesn’t surprise me. Penis-having-people are taught over and over again how these things work. Porn, expectations… I used to be a tiny bit irritated when Wonderboy used to ask “did you have fun?” after every time we had sex. I don’t any more, I quite appreciate that he doesn’t expect to know my body in all its changes even though we’ve been together for 7 years. I also like that he stopped asking me if I came, although I do tell him if I don’t, because then I am responsible for deciding what is fun for me. And that’s what’s important. Right?

    But I have to ask you how you’ve come to think that all vaginal orgasms are related to the g-spot? I can’t obviously have any evidence, but my feeling as a vaginal orgasming chick (once upon a time anyway…) is that the orgasms build closer to the surface of the vagina. My theory has been that the clitoris – that I’ve read some about – might be closer to the skin surface on us women who are able to orgasm through intercourse or penetration. The clitoris has roots on both sides of the vagina and that’s what I’ve gathered the orgasm (partly) builds from. There might be g-spot and clitoris (the showing part) in the mix too, but my experience is that that’s not all there is.

    • But I have to ask you how you’ve come to think that all vaginal orgasms are related to the g-spot?

      ‘Cause the people who talk about vaginal orgasms don’t usually mention where they seem to originate from, and my understanding is that the g-spot is the place where the internal clitoris is most accessible, so I just kind of assumed. 😛

      I mean, I’ve seen a small minority of women talk about coming from the head of their partner’s dick scraping the wall deep inside next to their cervix (the “anterior fornix” I think they called it?) and a good number of women talk about the g-spot, but no other location has been mentioned in the online conversations I happen to have seen.

      but my feeling as a vaginal orgasming chick (once upon a time anyway…) is that the orgasms build closer to the surface of the vagina.


      I’ve known one or two women who (though they don’t come from penetration) get off from stimulating under the tip of the clitoris, close to the urethra. Is that how PIV stimulates you, do you think? Or is it deeper than that yet not g-spot deep?

      My theory has been that the clitoris – that I’ve read some about – might be closer to the skin surface on us women who are able to orgasm through intercourse or penetration.

      I remember reading something…the comments on a Savage Love column, I think…where a guy just casually tossed out the theory that vaginal orgasms depend on how far the clit and vag are from each other. He said his partners who got off from PIV alone usually had their clit about a quarter inch away from their vaginal opening. And I was thinking “A quarter inch away?!?!” because it’s probably more like an inch for me and I always just assumed that was standard.

      • Andy

        Man, I need to get a ruler. That sounds fascinating, though I have no idea if it’s true.

      • I wasn’t so much thinking about the showing bit of clitoris, the hood and what’s under it, but I couldn’t keep myself from measuring. The distance between my clitoral glans and vaginal opening is something in the lines of 2 and a half to 3 cm. 😉 It’s pretty damn close, though – is quarter of an inch even possible? 😀 (I wouldn’t be able to tell by just seeing, I think.)

        I don’t know if it was all the talk about vaginal orgasms or what but I had the first one since I got pregnant yesterday! (So the last one was more than a year ago. Wow.) So I should be able to tell you now quite easily how it feels. But it isn’t easy at all! The main ingredient yesterday seemed to be domination. I went into subspace for the first time in a long while, and that was that. (Hard to pinpoint that in my body, either!)

        I read this and also Wikipedia to help me speak about this:

        I think partly what I feel is what Jill described. The pressure and movement coming from Wonderboy and our bodies pressing together. But partly it’s the movement inside me. My vaginal walls are super sensitive… and it’s pretty hard for me to come if the guy is wearing a condom. These feelings are located pretty close to the surface of the vaginal opening, just a inch or two in. And partly it’s the (out)sides of the vagina, all around it, I think. This I’ve believed to be because of the crux of clitoris, it’s roots that enclose the vagina. It’s not the labia minora but something under them, I guess. My best guess is that the roots of the clitoris are more to the surface in me than someone solely capable of coming through direct stimulation of the clitoral glans or hood. Which is still the only sure way to get me off, too, and was required during pregnancy and after giving birth – until now. (Did I mention: Wohoo!)

        I’m able to come from butt sex, too, and oddly enough, I can’t handle any clitoral stimulation during it – I just can’t feel it, and if it’s done hard enough it’s distracting in a bad way. These might be from the g-spot? I’ve also come from being bit in the neck by Wonderboy, being suffocated and from giving head to him. So, I have many orgasms to compare. I couldn’t say where all of them come from exactly in my body, but they do have similar characteristics and also distinctions.

  3. Jill

    I am a woman and come easily in PIV sex when it’s face-to-face with either my partner or me on top of the other. I don’t think it’s a g-spot thing at all (penises don’t curve like g-spot dildos). I come from the pressure of his body on my clit, which is why it’s easier for me to get off with fatter than thinner men (more flesh touching me where it counts most). The movement of his cock in my pussy massively turns me on, but it won’t get me off unless there is something on my clit. So I find rear-entry PIV very very hot, but need to be fingered if I’m going to come that way.

    I’m not sure what a ‘vaginal’ orgasm would be. All of my orgasms are from clitoral stimulation, including the ones from PIV sex.

  4. Ok, I have to comment here, because apparently I’m a unicorn because I do orgasm from penetration and specifically g-spot stimulation? (definitely not with every partner though) – and it is *definitely* the g-spot that’s giving me orgasms during penetration. An ex once commented that my g-spot is rather “prominent”, and easily felt with his fingers, so I imagine that some people’s g-spots are just more “buried” than others.

    The thing is though, even though I have a very active g-spot and have orgasms from penetrative sex, they are *very* different from clitoral orgasms, and (with everyone but my husband) don’t have the sense of release and satisfaction I get with clit orgasms. And I will tell partners that, that I do often have orgasms from penetration but that clitoral stimulation is really where it’s at and what’s necessary to make me feel satisfied – and so of course all my partners pretty much ignore my clit because it’s a lot easier to just stick their dick in me and tell themselves that they don’t have to do anything else because I “had an orgasm.”

    So it’s definitely not just you – guys are fucking lazy in bed.

    • I like g-spot stimulation as a supplement to clit stimulation – but sometimes the g-spot stuff seems to eclipse my orgasm, and the pleasure/release I’d normally get is more like…concentric rings of calm spreading through my brain and body. It makes me feel emotional and very close to my partner, and I usually don’t crave orgasms anymore afterward, but I really don’t like it as much as I like my usual clitoral-type orgasm.s I feel cheated out of the fun part, like if someone teleported a Thanksgiving meal directly into my stomach – yeah, I’m full and have the tryptophan sleeps, but I didn’t get to taste any of it.

      Is that what one of your g-spot orgasms feels like? More of a trippy brain…thing? Because this may mean that I’ve had them before a few times.

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