Earlier today, via text:
Me: Pssst! You’re sexy.
Bunny: :O Thanks! [a minute later…] Psssssst…You’re so beeeeeig!* And more so beautiful.
Me: And off I go with a smile on my face…to this gig that is TOTALLY NOT A RUSE.
That last bit is kind of an inside joke: I had a modelling gig tonight with some people who’ve fucked up the scheduling a few times before and I was worried I’d arrive there only to be sent home. The Bunny knew I was worrying about this. Also we’d just recently watched an episode of Archer where he mocks someone for using the word “ruse” so I knew my phrasing would amuse him. But did you notice that I gave him a compliment and he accepted it nicely instead of calling me a pervert or acting like I was saying something ridiculous? Even more incredibly, did you notice that he complimented me back?!?!? Like, using a word that normal people would perceive as a compliment and not (just) saying something weird that he claims is meant nicely? Holy fucking shit.
But oh, yeah, I wanted to talk about the evening of watching Archer…the other night The Bunny and I had plans to hang out, but I was getting over a cold. I told him ahead of time that I was up for hangouts still, but nothing as energetic as sex. He brought over awesome food (I’d offered to provide side dishes if he brought over a deli chicken, but he declined this and brought over All the Things) and we ate and snuggled and watched NetFlix. I ended up naked, as usual, and The Bunny spooned up behind me with his arms around me and occasionally kissed my neck or shoulder. It’s those random little kisses that really did me in.
I’d also like to mention that there was a school-themed kink event a little while ago that The Bunny and I were going to go to, but my headmistress (the woman for whom I am theoretically working as a pro domme) was holding a party at her place the same night and invited me. The Bunny said that office-politics-wise, it would probably be a good idea for me (us) to take her up on her hospitality. I saw the wisdom in this, but was sad about missing out on the school-themed thing – The Bunny had been putting together a schoolboy outfit for it.
In the end he wore the schoolboy garb anyway, just for me. 😀
We left the party late and I spontaneously asked him to stay over at my place. We used to have sleepovers a fair bit, but The Bunny stopped asking me a while back…which I’m fairly okay with (I think in many ways I prefer sleeping alone) except of course it drives me mad wondering why he used to want me around for longer stretches but doesn’t anymore. But anyway he did stay over that night, and in the morning we had missionary sex with the Hitachi between us so I could (in theory) get off. It was lovely – The Bunny is an absolute artist with Hitachi sex, varying his thrusts and then sometimes just griiiiiinding up against me to push the vibrator into me nice and hard. This time during the grinding he also rhythmically flexed his kegels so my clit and g-spot both got pulsations. God – so good. It strikes me that I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy before who puts such artistry into fucking. I’ve had guys who took direction really well, and guys who took initiative and tried new things (things they often had no reason to believe I wanted) but this thing where a boy uses what he knows about me to get creative and invent other things I’ll probably love? I think that might be new.
Anyway, after a little while it became clear that I wasn’t going to orgasm with The Bunny’s penis inside me – my body was being fickle that day, from tiredness or antidepressants or both. We stopped with the sex, The Bunny took a bathroom break, and then I managed – just barely – to get myself off with the Hitachi while he cuddled up next to me. I asked then if he wanted to resume the sexing, but he said no, his penis was broken for now. Apparently the head of the Hitachi had been digging uncomfortably into his first-thing-in-the-morning full bladder during Round One and he was still a little sore and couldn’t get his erection back. Holy shit – he was having that sex entirely for me. Using his cock as a tool for my pleasure while actually kind of hurting himself. Twenty years ago, the very idea of this would have left me aghast; now I’m impressed and see it as the act of service it was no doubt intended to be. It’s good to be queen. 🙂
The thing about The Bunny (and The Pedant before him) is that he has a way easier time expressing an interest in fucking me than he does in expressing whatever emotions he feels toward me – and so I reflexively assume that the relationship is about sex. I mean, The Bunny has asked me to wear stockings, to fuck his ass, to tie him up and use his cock, but he’s never said “I love you” or even “I like you” so…
The Bunny’s actions tell me he cares about me, though. I’m gonna try to listen harder to those.
And speaking of The Pedant…shockingly, he actually did end up offering me a concrete time to get together. His offer of hangouts was not a ruse. 😛 The tentative plan is for us to take a walk on Sunday evening. My tentative plan is that if we stroll around a bit and I find I’m still attracted to him and he doesn’t seem to have any pressing place to be, I’ll be like “Tie you to my bed for old times’ sake?” and see what he says.
I honestly don’t even know if I genuinely want him anymore or if it’s just kind of force of habit. Maybe I won’t even know when I see him in person. But I know I’ll be okay no matter what ends up happening.
*Pointing out my hugeness is kind of his schtick. Doesn’t especially bother me – usually he calls me “big” in person, using reverent tones, while caressing the curve of my hip. Which is indeed epic in scale, and I’m at least a head taller than The Bunny, so I can’t really fault his logic here. I must seem pretty vast to him.