A text conversation with The Bunny:
Bunny: Coming down from your bender? [He means the funtimes at the sex club last night.]
Me: Ate a bunch of chicken and pepper stir fry. Yay healthy food! Now I’m idly fuckin’ around on FetLife and thinking about your mouth.
Bunny: My mouth?
Me: Oh yes.
Bunny: Why my mouth? [SRSLY?!?]
Me: Because your lips are amazing and I could kiss you for days.
Bunny: Nooooo! We’d starve and dehydrate!
Me: I knew there was a reason I never actually tried that…
Bunny: Yup. Sorry.
It kills me that he seemed confused as to why I would be thinking about his mouth. I mean I think he genuinely didn’t know what I was getting at (when he knows I’m having sexy thoughts about him, he always responds with “Pervert!”). He’s so adorably naive. It seriously makes me think of a prepubescent girl who’s all “Ewww, why would anyone wanna touch a penis?!?!?”
…I mean, he’s not prepubescent or a girl, so he knows why he wants his penis touched. But he still hasn’t caught up with the idea that women might actually want to touch it. Or kiss him. Or see him naked.
Actually, I don’t know whether that’s cute or sad or infuriating. I guess all three.