The Bunny and his friend (same girl from the last post) and I went to a play party. The plan was for him to top his friend, and then I could play with him.
Watching him top her was not as hot as I had anticipated. And I think the reason for that is that it was just topping. Not domination. When I watch other people’s scenes, there are two main things that get me going: the bottom’s sounds, and the emotional context. The Bunny’s friend was mostly silent during her beating, and a beating was all it was – there was no trash talk or taunting or anything. The Bunny was skilled in his beating, though, and negotiated pretty expertly before hand, and respected limits. All of which pleases me very much.
I’ll say one thing, though – he had his friend bent over with her skirt pulled up so he could hit her ass, and in-between hits he’d caress it (which I understand, because being hit brings the blood to the surface so that a light touch can feel really intense). But it seemed like he was sometimes brushing his fingers across her junk, too, which surprises me considering she told me she was not attracted to and would never date him. She seems like a person who would tell him if he crossed a line, though, and he was just gliding past the area with his fingers, not focusing there, so meh. Gave me a small surge of jealousy* but that too shall pass.
Eventually, it was time for The Bunny and I to play together. We ended up having a weird miscommunication, though. The headmistress of my dungeon was present that night, and early in the evening I mentioned that The Bunny’s ass is made of titanium or something and seemingly impossible to mark. She grinned evilly and said “there are ways around that.” Later, The Bunny said that he’d been purposely waiting for midnight for us to play because he knew the headmistress’ DM shift** ended at that point and he figured I’d want to call her over and get that advice on how to cause marks. Which, I mean, wouldn’t you interpret that as The Bunny offering to be a test dummy while a more experienced dominant shows me how to mark him up? …She didn’t exactly end up doing that, but she did tell me a bunch of tricks (with The Bunny right there listening), including hitting hard from the get-go with no warm up. Which I ended up doing, and which The Bunny seemed surprised/irritated by and said it was too much for him. I of course apologized and said I wouldn’t do it again, but I also pointed out that he’d told me to learn how to cause marks, and even kind offered himself up for practice, so I’d thought it was okay. The Bunny did not seem to feel that any of his behaviour indicated a willingness to be hit without a warmup. I’m chalking this one up to a misunderstanding.
But yeah, we called the headmistress over and somehow she and her guy friend (I’ll call him “Chaps” because of his outfit) ended up giving me a little flogging lesson with The Bunny as guinea pig. And fascinatingly, although The Bunny has acted weird in the past about the idea of BDSM interaction with guys, any time Chaps asked to demonstrate anything on him, The Bunny consented. Made my heart grow three sizes, it did. ❤
After that I asked the headmistress the secrets to ass-marking, and she said: hitting super hard right from the getgo and/or hitting over and over again in the exact same spot and/or making sure the target’s ass is cold and/or wetting the surface of the target’s ass. I thanked her, and she went off to play/socialize.
Then I told The Bunny to butt-tie himself (basically use rope to put himself in a face-down, ass-up position).
“Do you want me naked?” he asked.
“At the very least, I want your pants off and your boxers pulled down in back.”
“But do you want me naked? Because I’ll do it.”
And so my already-shirtless-for-flogging Bunny climbed out of his jeans, pushed his boxers to his knees, and quickly knelt down (quickly so that his genitals weren’t so out there, I believe) and began tying himself up for me. Normally he’s quite efficient with rope, and you’d think it’d be even easier doing a tie on himself (no unexpected wiggling and he’d know how to get out of his own way), but he kept fumbling because his hands were shaking. Being publicly naked was having a strong effect on him; either he’s got exhibitionist tendencies and felt excited or he really was being naked for me and he felt exposed and nervous. Either way suits me fine. 😀
Once the tying was done and he was face-down and ass-up for me, I started wailing on his ass with my wooden paddle. “Starting at 10,” as the headmistress said, in order to try to make marks. Although I usually start off pretty hard anyway and it never did anything before.
The Bunny said something, but it was loud in the room and his face was resting on his folded arms so I couldn’t hear him. I stopped with the beating and got in close to ask him to repeat himself. He told me I was going way too hard and he needed more of a warmup in order to take that level of pain. So I scaled back to lighter strikes – or thought I did – but maybe those first whacks made him super sensitive because he mumbled something again and I got in close again and he told me I was still going too hard. I told him I’d go lighter still, and if he needed me to stop, to raise his hand since I couldn’t reliably hear his voice. He said okay.
And then I went back to beating his ass. I don’t even know for how long…probably not less than fifteen minutes. Maybe a lot more. I gave him a whole shitload of light little whacks with my wooden paddle, all over his ass and hips. Then I used my leather paddle on both his butt and his upper back a little bit, and then switched to a riding crop, then back to paddling again, pausing from time to time to caress or run my fingernails over his hot red skin. Eventually I used my bare hands to hit him. He was so tenderized by that point that bare-handed strikes made him cry out, which I could never have accomplished normally – usually spanking seems to hurt my hand more than The Bunny’s butt. I even punched him in the ass a couple of times. Then I think I went back to one of my paddles again, but shortly after that I saw his arm go up and I immediately stopped.
The Bunny rolled/collapsed onto his side – his lower half still tied, so he was in the foetal position by default – and lay like that, eyes closed, face partly shielded by one of his arms, for a long-ass time. So long that I was kind of afraid I’d broken him. Normally, after a beating, he might be a bit dazed from endorphins but he’s still totally articulate and functional and wants to sit up/have rope taken off/etc. right away.
I didn’t want to drag him back to reality too fast if his brain was off elsewhere, so I just sat and petted him, reassuring him with my touch that I was right there watching over him. Eventually I leaned over and whispered in his ear what a good boy he was. He didn’t react, so I just kept on petting him.
As we sat there like that, I glanced around the room to see what other people were up to – during our scene I’d totally gotten tunnel vision and forgotten anyone else was there. Turns out Chaps was sitting directly across the room from us and had been watching, and he caught my eye and sort of telegraphed, through body language and mouthing words, that he had really enjoyed what he’d seen. On one hand, he seems experienced and amazing and it’s validating to know that I have his seal of approval. On the other hand, OMG we were being watched eeeeeeeeek. I sort of grinned sheepishly at him and returned my attention to The Bunny.
After a while – still lying on his side with his eyes shut – The Bunny reached out blind and put his arm around me, and that’s when I knew he wasn’t broken and didn’t hate me.
After another while, he slowly sat up and undid the ropes, then leaned up against me with his arm around me again and we kissed a little bit. I think his first words to me were “We have to find you a masochist.” He said it kindly, while smiling, but the implication was clear: he is not enough into pain to want to do a scene like that one again.
The Bunny reiterated that I was hitting him way too hard at first and he needs more of a warm-up. I apologized and told him I’d ramp things up slowly in future (and explained why I’d believed the “cold start” would be okay with him – the fact that he volunteered to be a crash test dummy as the headmistress taught me how to leave marks, and all that – and he just seemed confused). And he encouraged me to put an ad up in one of the FetLife personal groups to seek someone I can really let loose on.
Soon after that, it was time to go. As we were standing around saying goodbyes and wrapping up conversations, Chaps came by and told me outright that my scene with The Bunny had been amazing and he thinks once I learn how to flog I’ll be a really incredible top. 😀
On our way to the bus stop, I told The Bunny we should totally get him some fishnet shorts like one of the guys at the party had been wearing. Or a jock strap…something that decorates his ass. He whined and whined about this – maybe he’s so not used to being objectified and desired that blatant sexytimes clothes feel like a costume to him, or maybe he equates “mangerie” with girlie-looking garments (and crossdressing is a hard limit for him). He was like “Why can’t you just enjoy me naked?”
I snapped back, “Why can’t you just enjoy me naked, Stocking Boy?!”
“…Touche.” Apparently The Bunny needed to be reminded of his own obsession with semi-transparent clothing in order to understand mine. It’s weird and frustrating how male-gazey most guys are, like to the point where they can’t get their heads around women finding men attractive because they don’t find men attractive. I mean I feel like I have to keep spoon-feeding them this information: “Heyyyy buddy, so you know how you’re a straight guy and that means you want to fuck women? I’m straight woman, so if we take that to its logical conclusion, this means…? Anyone…? Anyone? Bueller?”
While The Bunny and his chick-friend and I were waiting for a bus, a guy-friend of The Bunny’s pulled up in a car and offered to drop us off at our respective transfer points. We accepted. The Bunny and his chick-friend got dropped off first, and as he disembarked he called “Love yoooooz!” over his shoulder to me in his “I-am-using-a-silly-tone-to-mask-that-I’m-serious” voice. I…am sort of shocked that he would say this with people around, even in his kidding-voice. Doesn’t seem like him, especially since I don’t think I’ve heard him say the word “love” ever, in any context, let alone directing it at me. It caught me so much off guard that I didn’t even reply – I was too tongue-tied.
It was nice to hear, though.
Overall I’ve been feeling pretty good and secure with The Bunny lately. Possibly the anti-depressants are a contributing factor. The fact that we haven’t happened to have any challenges to our relationship for a while definitely is – I mean our communication issues haven’t disappeared, there’s just nothing much stirring them up lately. I get that. There will be more issues eventually. But still. The last time we did have a semi-major fight, he said he didn’t want to give up on us and worked to improve things. And he did that threesome thing for me, and let a man flog him for my benefit, and lets me get sadistic with him more for my pleasure than his, and comes over to my place just to pet and massage me without me doing anything in return but moaning and squirming. And we’ve been seeing each other for the better part of a year now, so I’m past the phase of thinking he’s suddenly gonna disappear on me.
*Analysis of the jealousy: I like the idea of co-topping a woman with The Bunny, but this was not that. This was a scene between just him and his friend (whom I don’t feel a pull toward, anyway, and so I wouldn’t have contributed even if invited). So I felt a little left out, but mostly I was fine with him having this scene with her, because I don’t like being tied up or hit so good riddance. But teasing caresses are a thing he does for me. As is snuggling, and he snuggled her for aftercare. And the handful of other people I knew at the party all looked busy, so there was nothing for me to do but just sit there and watch The Bunny snuggle this other person.
**It’s common practice at play parties to have a “dungeon master” – a person who keeps an eye on everyone and makes sure nobody is doing anything sketchy (like continuing to beat someone who’s safewording or whatever). I think usually the DM role is filled by a succession of people so that each DM only has to be vigilant for an hour or two and then they pass the mantle to someone else and go play/socialize.