I forgot to mention: not long ago, in a text conversation (of course), I expressed some kind of sexual or kinky desire and The Bunny nonchalantly called me a perv again. He’s said before that he means it in a complimentary way but it still gets on my nerves sometimes, so I instructed him to tell me his favourite pervy thing about me. You know, to kinda balance out the disparaging implications of the word.
He tried to dodge, because such statements of praise can be difficult for him. But I persevered. The thing he finally went with is that I like his cock, and play with it. Which sounds like kind of a cop-out (he chooses that and not anything I do that’s actually kinky? A straight woman liking the cock is “perverted” now?*) but it actually may not be.
I’m a member of a few “ask a woman a question”-type discussion groups on FetLife. Dudes there are always asking what women think of this or that sex act, or how we view men’s bodies, and reading the answers is the first time I’ve ever been privy to the personal opinions of such a wide cross-section of women. I mean, my friends and I talk about sex/bodies/etc., but my friends tend to be in a similar demographic to me and have similar opinions, obviously.
A shocking (to me) number of straight and bi women on FetLife seem to dislike (or not notice) men’s bodies, dislike men’s sexuality, dislike men’s penises.
When a discussion of attractiveness comes up, I’d say 30% or so of the respondents insist they don’t care about looks at all, or that men’s bodies are just not as inherently beautiful or desirable as women’s, or that women just aren’t visual.
When I asked if other women like to hang out naked with their partners even if sexytimes are not in the offing, I got a resounding “NO, nudity is for when we’re about to fuck” with a side order of “women aren’t visual” and (bizarrely, to me) “If I saw my partner naked all the time it wouldn’t be special anymore.” (Wow, really? Because I’ve been in long-term relationships where my partner and I were basically naked at every opportunity and I never stopped wanting to sex any of them.) (Actually, most of the women on that thread, as soon as they read the phrase “naked with your partner,” got stuck on the part where they were naked. The vast majority of the answers were women talking about how they weren’t comfortable with their bodies for various reasons, and ignoring the hypothetical naked man in the room entirely. Which makes me even sadder.)
When guys ask if they should post dick pics on their profiles, I’d say 70% of the answers range from “men are sexier in suits than naked” to “OMG PUT IT AWAY NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT.” (The remaining 30%, including me, are like “Maybe not as your avatar, and maybe a full body nude instead of a log.” LINK NSFW.)
When guys ask “Do women like to watch guys jerk off?” a staggering (to me) number of women said no. That they’d rather watch paint dry than watch their partner give himself an orgasm. I mean, a few women always say yes, too, but “no” and “I don’t want him to jerk off when he could be fucking me instead” typically outweigh the “yes” faction. (To be clear, I don’t find the latter dismissive of men’s desirability at all – generally the opposite, although the way some women phrased the idea it sounded controlling and insecure.)
When guys ask any kind of question involving semen (“Do you like creampies?” “Do you like being ejaculated on?” “Do you like bareback better than using condoms?”) a lot of women say they’re not to into it (which is of course their prerogative) but then there are always a bunch who act like their partner’s semen is toxic waste or something. I’ve seen several women refer to semen as “cock snot” and say that it “belongs in the garbage [in a condom]” not on their tits etc. That level of shaming is totally unacceptable to me. If a guy came into these groups and referred to a woman’s sexual lubrication as “vag vomit” he’d be crucified, and yet I rarely see anyone call a woman out on saying “cock snot.” And when it’s happened, the perpetrator stood by her shitty, shaming language and wouldn’t apologize or see how inappropriate it was.
Anyway. I can’t deep throat (which a lot of women on FetLife do admit to loving). If I try to swallow semen, the texture makes me gag – and I’ll admit I don’t really love the taste, either. I’m not saying I’m some kind of porn star/sex goddess. But semen is a byproduct of my partner’s pleasure, and as such, I adore it – as long as it’s not in any of my holes**. If I get ejaculated on I’ll rub it into my skin instead of getting up to shower, because I’d rather stay in bed and have post-coital snuggles. And I love watching (and participating in) my partner’s orgasms. I love The Bunny’s cock – ogling it, stroking it, licking it. Sometimes when he’s not around I crave his taste. Also when he is around, obviously, and I’ll often suck and lick him to a point where he feels uncomfortable and makes me stop (he’s said he feels weird having too much attention lavished on him – like selfish or whatever, even though I’m doing it of my own free will).
And there’s the thing where I want to see him naked all the time, which is apparently not common.
Tl;dr: my liking and playing with The Bunny’s cock might actually be unusual for him.
*Sadly, I get the feeling The Bunny – and many other men – actually believe this. They’re just so not used to being seen as objects of desire.
**And if I get lucky enough to be with a guy with a vasectomy again, bareback is totally back on the table. I only say “not in any holes” right now because pregnancy.